Phoebe talks Rachel into getting a tattoo despite, or rather because of, Ross's disapproval. At dad Jack Geller's birthday party, Dr. Richard Burke has some trouble hearing comments about his unspecified date, Monica more hearing about hers and the worst when she's accidentally in the bathroom while her parents get intimate. After a tiny row about using each-others stuff, even soap, Joey considers moving out of Chandler's apartment to live alone for the first time now he has a good contract and another actor moves to an even posher one. 菲比会谈瑞秋纹身尽管,或者说由于罗斯的反对。在爸爸杰克盖勒的生日聚会上,李察博士已经有听力问题的评论,他没有明确的日期,摩妮卡更听到她的最坏的当她不小心在浴室里,她的父母变得亲密。一个用别人的东西,小小的行后,甚至肥皂,乔伊认为离开了钱德的公寓独自生活的第一次现在他有一个好的合同,另一个演员移动到一个更漂亮的人。
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Man, this is weird.
天啊,这好奇怪
Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are on his hat?
你有没有发现脆脆船长的眉毛长在他的帽子上?
That's what's weird?
那就是奇怪的地方?
The man's been captain of a cereal for 40 years.
乔伊,那人当了40年的早餐谷片船长
Whoa, yuck!
哇,真恶心!
What?
怎样?
The spoon! You licked and you put.
汤匙!你舔过后放回去
You licked and you put.
你舔过后放回去
Yeah, so?
对,那又怎样?
Don't you see how gross that is? It's like you using my toothbrush!
你没发现这有多恶心吗? 那等于是你用我的牙刷
You used my toothbrush?
你用过我的牙刷?
Only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.
那是因为 我用红色那根通排水孔
Mine is the red one!
我的是红色那根!
Oh, God! Can open. Worms everywhere!
天啊,揭开封印,到处有鬼!
Why can't we use the same toothbrush...
我们为什么不能用同一根牙刷
...but we can use the same soap?
却能用同一块香皂?
Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
因为香皂是香皂,那会自我清洁
The next time you shower...
下次你洗澡时…
...think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
…想想我最后洗什么 而你最先洗什么
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
Look at you fancy lads!
看看你们这些型男
What's the occasion?
是什么场合?
You know that guy on my show that's in a coma?
记得我的电视剧里那个演昏迷不醒的人吗?
He's having a brunch.
他要请我吃早午餐
Ready when you are.
就等你了
I can't believe you're actually getting tattoos.
真不敢相信你们居然要刺青
You guys are getting tattoos?
打个岔,你们要刺青?
But you cannot tell Ross because I wanna surprise him.
对,但你不能告诉罗斯 因为我想给他惊喜
Wow, this is wild! What are you gonna get?
好狂放,你要刺什么?
I'm getting a lily.
我要刺一朵百合
For my mom, because her name's Lily.
纪念我妈,因为她叫百合
That's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?
运气真好,假如她叫丑大污点呢?
- Where you getting it? - On my shoulder.
- 你想刺在哪里? - 我肩膀上
What?
什么?
ROSS: What's on your shoulder?
什么在你肩膀上?
A chip.
皮包
- A tattoo. I'm getting a tattoo. ROSS: A tattoo?
- 刺青,我要去刺青 - 刺青?
Why? Why would you wanna do that?
为什么?你为何要这么做?
- Hi. - Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨
You don't think they're kind of cool?
你不觉得刺青蛮酷的?
No. Sorry, I don't.
不,抱歉,我不觉得
Why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life?
为何有人要付钱请师傅 在身上留下一辈子的伤痕?
What if it doesn't come out right?
假如刺得不对劲呢,菲比?
It's like having a bad haircut all the time.
那就像老是顶着剪坏的发型
Why is everyone staring at me?
为什么大家都盯着我看?
Sign this card for Dad. Richard will be here soon.
罗斯,过来签给爸的生日卡 理查快要来了
Richard's going to the party too?
理查也要参加派对?
He's my parents' best friend. He has to go.
他是我父母最好的朋友 他非得到场不可
So is today the day you'll tell them about you two?
那你打算今天告诉他们你们的事吗?
Yeah, for my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
是啊,我决定送我爸中风当他的生日礼物
No, I think you should tell them.
不,我想你应该告诉他们
I don't know how serious he is. Until I do, I won't say anything.
不,我不知道他对我有多认真 在知道前,我什么都不说
I don't think Mom and Dad would mind.
很难说,我不认为爸妈会在意
Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, Dad said:
记得你9岁,理查30岁时 爸爸老是说…
"God, I hope they get together."
〝天啊,真希望他们在一起〞
ROSS: Shall we?
可以进了吗
Okay, wait.
好,等一下
You know what?
你知道吗?
Ross, let's switch places. You get in the middle.
罗斯,我们换位子,你在中间
This looks like we're trying to cover something up.
这样看起来像是我们想隐瞒什么
You could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it.
摩妮卡,就算你你骑着他进去 他们还是不会相信
ROSS: We're here!
我们到了!
MRS. GELLER: Hi, kids! MR. GELLER: The children!
- 嗨,孩子们! - 小孩到了
- Happy birthday, Dad. - Thank you.
- 生日快乐,爸 - 谢谢
Happy birthday!
生日快乐
So you kids thanked Dr. Burke for the ride?
你们两个谢过柏克医生载你们吗?
Actually, Mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
事实上,妈,我想摩妮卡代我们两人谢过他了
So you kids take the train in?
你们是坐火车来的?
No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
不,理查·柏克载他们来的
Speaking of whom...
提到他啊…
...I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city.
我听说他在城里 跟20岁的无脑嫩妹在交往
Finger cramp! Oh, God!
手指抽筋!天啊!
Sorry. Here, let me get that, Mom.
对不起,来,我来清,妈
So Richard's shopping in the junior section?
所以说理查在青少年区购物?
Are we still on that?
我们还在提那码子事?
You just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
想也知道她的智商 跟餐巾纸一样高
She's probably not even pretty.
她说不定连漂亮都算不上
Just young enough so that everything is still pointing up.
只是够年轻,所以一切都还坚挺
JOEY: Can you believe this place?
你能相信这地方吗?
I know. This is a great apartment.
我了解,这间公寓真棒
In the bathroom there's mirrors on both sides of you.
我刚上过洗手间,两侧都装了镜子
When you're in there, it's like peeing with the Rockettes.
你在上时 好像跟火箭女郎一起尿尿
Well, there's my fantasy come true.
我的幻想成真了
Seriously.
这是说真的
Hey.
嗨
We were just saying, great apartment!
我们正好说到这间公寓真棒
Thanks. You want it?
谢谢,你想租吗?
I'm moving to a bigger place.
我要搬到更大的地方
You should take this one.
你应该租下这间
Can you see me in a place like this?
你能想像我住这种地方吗?
Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings?
有何不可? 你讨厌公园景观和挑高天花板吗?
Come on, I'll show you the kitchen.
来,我带你参观厨房
That's all right, I saw a kitchen this morning.
没关系,我今天早上看过一间厨房
On TV.
在电视上
Stop talking. Okay!
别讲话了,好吧!
- Come on, tell us! - Is she really 20?
- 来吧,告诉我们 - 她真的20岁吗?
I am not telling you guys anything.
我什么也不告诉你们
Come on, it's my birthday. Let me live vicariously!
拜托,理查,今天是我生日 让我想像过那种生活的滋味!
Dad, you really don't want to do that.
爸,你真的不该这么做
What's a little midlife crisis between friends?
朋友之间谈论下中年危机又怎样?
Would you let it go?
杰克,你别逼问好吗?
I know what you're going through. When I turned 50, I got the Porsche.
我知道你的心路历程 我满50岁时,买了保时捷
You got your own little speedster.
你则得到自己的“小跑车”
- Seriously, it's not like that. MR. GELLER: Tell you what.
- 说真的,不是那样 - 我告诉你
Maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could...
也许找个周末,你可以借我的车,而我可以…
Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence!
爸,我恳求你别把话讲完!
What? I'm kidding!
什么?我只是开玩笑
You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
你知道我绝不会让他碰那辆保时捷
Okay, Rach.
好,瑞秋
Which lily? This lily or that lily?
哪一种百合? 这种百合还是那种百合?
- Well, I... - I like this lily.
- 我… - 我喜欢这种百合
It's more open and that's like my mom.
那绽放得更灿烂,就像我妈
She had a more open, giving spirit.
她有更开放而奉献的精神
Foghorn Leghorn!
莱亨鸡!
Blond girl? You're in room two.
金发女?你到二号房
Not-so-blond girl, you're with me.
没那么金发女,你跟我来
- Here we go! - Uh-huh.
要开始了
You're not going.
你不去
Uh-huh.
嗯-哼
Is this because of what Ross said?
跟罗斯说的话有关吗?
No.
不是
- Well, yeah, maybe. - I don't believe this.
- 是吧,也许 - 我不敢相信
Is this how this relationship works? Ross equals boss?
你谈这段恋爱都要这样吗? 罗斯等于老板?
Come on, what is this, 1922?
拜托,什么年代了,还是1922年吗?
What's 1922?
1922年怎么了?
Just, you know, a long time ago.
只是指很久以前
When men used to tell women what to do a lot.
那个年代的男人经常指使女人
Then there was suffrage, which was a good thing. But it sounds horrible.
然后有了投票权,这是好事 不过听起来很糟糕
Do you want this tattoo?
你想要刺青吗?
Yes, I do. It's just that Ross...
我想,只是罗斯…
Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
你的男友是你老板吗?
No.
不是
Who is the boss of you?
你的老板是谁?
You?
你?
No. You are the boss of you!
不,你是你自己的老板
You march in there and get that tattoo on your hip!
大摇大摆走进去 在臀部刺上那刺青!
Go!
去!
How you doing?
你还好吗?
I'm a twinkie!
我成了无脑嫩妹!
Really? I'm a hero.
真的?我成了英雄
This is so hard.
这真难应付
Yeah, I know. I hate it too.
我懂,我也讨厌这样
Look, maybe we should just tell them.
听着,也许我们该对他们直说
Maybe we should just tell your parents first.
也许我们该先告诉你父母
My parents are dead.
我父母都过世了
God, you are so lucky!
天啊,你真好运!
I mean... Well, you know what I mean.
- 我是说…你懂我的意思 - 我懂…
Just hang in there, okay?
撑下去,好吗?
Okay, I'll go out first, all right?
- 好,我先出去,好吗? - 好
Judy! Going to the bathroom. Good for you!
茱蒂!你想上洗手间,真不错!
Thank you, Richard. I appreciate the support.
谢谢你,理查 感谢你的支持
MR. GELLER: Honey.
亲爱的
Seen my Harmon Killebrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
看到我的哈蒙基勒博球棒了吗? 劳勃不相信我有
I have no idea.
不知道
Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
你知道理查在城内 交了个无脑嫩妹吗?
I know. He's a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
我知道,他焕然一新 像是电影《魔茧》的情景
I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
我只是无法想像 理查跟无脑辣妹在一起
He told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl.
他似乎告诉强尼夏皮洛说 她很棒
He told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
其实他告诉强尼 他觉得自己爱上她了
MRS. GELLER: Really? - I've never seen him this happy.
- 真的? - 我从没看过他这么快乐
So, Jack...
所以说,杰克…
...ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
有没有想过 把我换成更年轻的模特儿?
Of course not.
当然没有
With you, it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
跟你一起 我像是交了两个25岁小妞
Oh, Jack, stop!
杰克,别这样!
MR. GELLER: Come on!
来吧!
It's my birthday!
这是我生日!
Can we drop this?
我们别提了好吗?
I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
我对那男的公寓不感兴趣
Oh, please. I saw the way you were checking out his moldings.
拜托,我看到 你查看他壁饰的样子
You want it.
你想要它
Why would I want another apartment?
我为何想要另一间公寓?
I've already got an apartment that I love.
我已经有我喜爱的公寓
It wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
你偶尔这么说又不会死
All right. You want the truth? I'm thinking about it.
好,你想听真话?我是在考虑
- What? - I'm sorry.
- 什么? - 对不起
I'm 28. I've never lived alone...
我28岁了,从来没一个人住过
...and I'm at a place where I got enough money...
我现在的状况是 终于拥有足够的钱
...that I don't need a roommate.
我不再需要室友了
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't need a roommate either.
我也不需要室友
I can afford to live here by myself.
我负担得起自己住在这里
I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
我也许得每周带个人过来舔一次餐具
Why are you getting so bent out of shape?
你为什么这样在意?
We didn't agree to live together forever.
我们又不是协议 要永远住在一起
We're not Bert and Ernie.
我们不是布偶毕特和恩尼
You know what?
你知道吗?
If this is the way you feel...
假如你是这种感觉…
...then maybe you should take it.
也许你该去租那间公寓
- That's how I feel. - Then maybe you should take it!
- 我就是那种感觉 - 那么也许你该租下来!
Maybe I will!
也许我会租!
- Fine with me! - Great!
- 我不介意! - 太好了!
You can spend more quality time with your real friends...
这样你就能花更多时间 和真正的朋友…
...the spoons!
汤匙相处!
Whose drink can I freshen?
谁需要我补充饮料?
Almost time for cake!
快要切蛋糕了
Mon?
摩?
Mon, are you okay?
摩妮卡,你还好吗?
- Remember that video of Mom and Dad? - Yeah?
你记得我发现 爸妈做那档事的影片吗?
- Well, I just caught the live show. - Ew!
我刚亲临真人秀
- Hey there. - What?
- 你呀… - 怎样?
Nothing. I just heard something nice about you.
没事,我刚听说你的好事
Really?
真的?
MRS. GELLER: Richard?
理查,理查
- Your son isn't seeing anyone, is he? - Not that I know of.
- 你儿子没在跟人交往,对吧? - 就我所知没有
I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
我在想,他能不能 打个电话给摩妮卡?
That's an idea.
这算是一个点子
Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.
其实我已经在跟别人交往
- Oh? - Oh?
喔?
ROSS: Oh...
哦
She never tells us anything.
她什么都不告诉我们
Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
罗斯,你知道 摩妮卡在跟人约会吗?
Mom, there are so many people in my life.
妈,我生命中有好多人
Some are seeing people and some aren't.
有些人有在约会,有些人没有
Is that crystal?
那是水晶吗?
So who's the mystery man?
那个神秘男子是谁?
Well, he's a doctor.
他是个医生
A real doctor?
真正的医生?
No, a doctor of meat.
不,是肉类医生
Of course he's a real doctor.
他当然是真的医生
And he's handsome.
而且他很英俊
And he's sweet, and I know you'd like him.
很体贴,我知道你会喜欢他
Well, that's wonderful.
太好了
Mom, it's okay.
妈,没关系
It is, Judy.
是的,茱蒂
Jack!
杰克!
Could you come in here for a moment?
你能进来一下吗?
Now!
马上!
- Found it! - I'll take that, Dad.
- 找到了 - 我拿着,爸
It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
看来你女儿和理查算是凑成一对
That's impossible. He's got a twinkie in the city.
不可能,他在城里交了个嫩妹
I'm the twinkie.
爸,我就是那嫩妹
- You're the twinkie? - She's not a twinkie!
- 你是那嫩妹? - 她不是无脑嫩妹!
Look, this is the best relationship I've been in...
听着,这是我长久以来 最棒的恋情…
Oh, please! A relationship?
拜托!恋情?
Yes, a relationship!
对,恋情!
For your information, I'm crazy about this man.
顺带告诉你们,我为这男人痴狂!
Really?
- 真的? - 真的
Yes.
是的
Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
我应该在我生日当天 站着听这种事吗?
This is a good thing. You said you've never seen Richard happier.
爸,这对我是件好事 你自己说没见过理查这么快乐过
When did I say that?
我什么时候说的?
Upstairs in the bathroom, right before you felt up Mom!
在楼上浴室里 就在你对妈妈毛手毛脚前!
SINGING: Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday, dear Jack
祝你生日快乐,亲爱的杰克
Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐
It looks so good! Oh, I love it.
看起来好漂亮,我喜欢
I know, so do I! I'm so glad you made me do this.
对啊,我也喜欢 真高兴你强迫我刺青
Okay, let me see yours.
好了,让我看你的
Let's see yours again.
好,再来看你
We just saw mine. Let me see yours.
菲比,我们刚看过我的 让我看你的
Oh, no!
不好了!
It's gone! That's so weird.
消失了,真奇怪
I don't know how, where it went.
不知道它怎么会无影无踪
You didn't get it?
- 你没刺青? - 没错
No.
没
Why not?
你为什么没有?
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
对不起…
How could you do this to me? This was your idea!
你怎么可以这样对我? 这都是你的主意!
I know! I was gonna get it, but he came in with this needle.
我知道!我本来要刺 但是他拿着这种针头出现
And did you know they do this with needles?
你知道他们用针头干嘛?
Really? You don't say?
真的?不会吧?
Because mine was licked on by kittens!
因为我的是由猫味舔上去的!
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嗨 - 嗨
I'm sorry about what...
我很抱歉…
- Yeah, me too. - I know.
- 对,我也是 - 我懂
Do we need to hug?
我们需要抱抱吗?
No, we're all right.
不,我们没事
So I got you something.
我准备了东西要给你
Plastic spoons!
塑胶汤匙!
- Great! - Lick away, my man!
- 太好了! - 任你舔,我的朋友
These will go great in my new place till I get real ones.
在我买真正的汤匙之前 很适合在我的新家使用
What?
什么?
I can't use these forever. They're no friend of the environment.
我不能老是使用这种东西 这对环境不友善
No, I mean what's this about your new place?
不,我是说你的什么新家?
I'm moving out, like we talked about.
我要搬出去,我们讨论过了
I didn't think that was serious.
我以为那不是认真的
You know, I thought that was just a fight.
我以为那只是拌个嘴
Well, it was a fight...
对,那是拌嘴
...based on serious stuff, remember?
可是话题是认真的,记得吗?
About how I never lived alone or anything?
有关我从来没一个人住?
I think it would be good for me. Help me to grow...
我想这样对我有益 能帮助我成长…
...or whatever.
有的没的
Well, there you go.
那就这样吧
Hey, are you cool with this?
你可以接受吧?
I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
我不想害你进退两难
I've never been lower or wetter.
进退对我一向都不难
I'll be fine. I'll just turn your...
我会没事的,我要把你的…
...bedroom into a game room.
卧室改成游戏间
Put the foosball table in there.
把手足球桌摆进去
Why do you get to keep the table?
为什么是你保留这桌子?
I did pay for half of it.
我出了一半的钱买下
I paid for the other half.
另外一半是我出的
I'll tell you what. I'll play you for it.
我告诉你,我们用比赛决定
All right, you're on.
好,跟你拼了
I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
今天我能抽个两分钟修理你
Your men will get scored on more times than your sister.
我得的分 会比你妹被上过的次数还多
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
哇,哇,哇,哇!
Which sister?
哪个妹妹?
So are you sorry that I told them?
你会难过我告诉他们了吗?
No. It's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
不,你爸和我很久没去跑步了
Did you get it?
你们刺了吗?让我看!
RACHEL: Is Ross here? - He went out for pizza.
- 罗斯在吗? - 他去买彼萨
RACHEL: Okay, really quick.
好,很快秀一下
That's great!
真漂亮!
Very tasteful.
很有品味
- Wanna see mine? Wanna see mine? MONICA: Yes!
想看我的吗…?
What? You didn't get one.
什么?你又没刺青
Okay. Well then, what is this?
好吧,不然这是什么?
What are we looking at?
我们在看什么?
That blue freckle?
蓝色雀斑?
That's my tattoo.
这是我的刺青
That is not a tattoo. That is a nothing.
那不是刺青,那什么也不是
I got her in the chair...
我终于押她坐回椅子上…
...he barely touched her with the needle, she screamed and that was it.
他还没怎么用针头刺到她 她就跳起来惨叫,就此结束
Okay, hi!
好,嗨!
For your information, this is exactly what I wanted.
假如你们不知道,这正是我要的
This is a tattoo of the Earth as seen from a great, great distance.
这是地球的刺青 从很远的地方看过来
It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
这是我母亲从天堂看到我的样子
Oh, what a load of crap!
胡说八道!
That is a dot!
那是一个点!
Your mother's in heaven going, "Where the hell's my lily, you wuss!"
你在天堂的母亲会说 〝我的百合在哪儿?你真没种〞
That is not a tattoo! This is a tattoo!
菲比,那不是刺青!这才是刺青!
You got a tattoo?
你去刺青?
Maybe.
也许
But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world!
不过只是个小刺青 菲比刺了全世界
ROSS: Well, let me see.
让我看
Well?
怎么样?
Well, it's really...
相当…
...sexy.
性感
I wouldn't have thought it would be, but...
我从来没想过会这样,可是…
...wow!
哇
Really?
真的吗?
Yeah, so...
真的,那么…
So is it sore? Or can you do stuff?
会不会痛?或者你能做某些事?
I guess.
我想可以吧
Save us some pizza.
留点披萨给我们
Get it out of the corner!
把球从角落里弄出来!
Pass it! Pass it!
传球!传球!
Stop talking to your men!
别再跟你的球员讲话!
Yes!
得分!
And the table is mine.
球桌是我的了
Congratulations.
恭喜
You guys will still come visit me, right?
你们还是会来看我吧?
Oh, yeah! You got the big TV.
当然,你的电视那么大
We'll be over there all the time.
我们会常过去那里
Except when we are here.
除了我们在这里的时候
I know you're just moving uptown, but I'll really miss you.
我知道你只是搬到上城 不过我会很想念你
How can you not be across the hall anymore?
对啊,你怎么会 不再住在走道对面了?
Who's gonna eat all of our food and tie up our phone lines...
谁要来吃掉我们所有的食物 让我们的电话线都打结…
Is that my bra?
那是我的胸罩吗?
- What are you doing with my bra? - It's not what you think.
- 你拿我的胸罩干嘛? - 不是你想的那样
We used it to fling water balloons off the roof.
我们用那个来在屋顶上弹水球
Remember? Those kids couldn't even get theirs across the street.
记得吗? 那些国中生连弹过马路都办不到
Yeah, I remember.
我记得
Let's bring the rest of these down to the truck.
咱们把剩下的搬上卡车
You want me to...
你要我来…
...give you a hand with the foosball table?
帮你搬手足球桌吗?
Nah...
不了
You keep it. You need the practice.
你留着,你需要练习
Thanks.
谢了
So...
那么…
...I guess this is it.
我想就这样了
Yeah, right.
对…
I guess so.
我想是的
Listen...
听着…
When am I gonna see you?
我什么时候能再见到你?
I'm guessing tonight at the coffeehouse.
我想,今晚在咖啡厅就可以
Right. Yeah. Okay.
对,好吧
Take care.
- 保重 - 对