The gang make their New Years resolutions. Chandler struggles to not make jokes about everyone. Rachel uncovers a secret. Ross runs into trouble when he wears leather pants on a date. 刚让他们的新年决议。钱德勒挣扎不开玩笑的人。瑞秋发现了一个秘密。罗斯陷入麻烦时,他穿着皮裤约会。
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All right. Here we go. 1999, the year of Joey.
来罗!1999年 乔伊"快乐"的一年
We're very happy for you.What's the matter?
恭喜你 怎么了?
We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so, you know...
我们想在午夜接吻 但其他人都没这个打算
- All right, I'll take care of it. - Oh, no.
好 交给我
Joey.
乔伊
33 32, 31. - Ross, Ross, Ross.
33! 32 ! 31!罗斯 !
Listen, who are you kissing at midnight? Rachel or Phoebe?
你0点要亲谁? 瑞秋还是菲比?
- What? - Well, you gotta kiss someone. you can't kiss your sister.
什么? 你得亲人 又不能亲你妹
- Who's gonna kiss my sister?- Chandler.
那谁要亲我妹? 钱德
- Oh, man. Really?
不会吧
Who would you rather have kiss your sister?me or Chandler?
老兄 你觉得谁比较好 我还是钱德?
- That's a good point. - Yeah.
有道理
Uh, well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
我和瑞秋有太多纠葛 那就菲比吧
Okay, great.
好
Pheebs, Pheebs. Listen. Ross wants to kiss you at midnight.
菲比!罗斯午夜想亲你
So obvious. Why doesn't he just ask?
太明显了 他大可直说
Rach, Rach. Listen, I'm going to kiss you at midnight.- What?
瑞秋!我午夜要亲你 什么?
Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone.- You can't kiss Ross. You got the history.
大家都得找人亲 你亲罗斯会小尴尬
- So? - So?Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
所以呢? 所以你想让我亲还是让钱德亲
- Oh, good point.
有道理 对吧
Three, two, one.Happy New Year!
3 ! 2 ! 1!新年快乐!
- Happy New Year. - Happy New Year.
新年快乐 新年快乐
- Happy New Year, Pheebs. - You too.
菲比 新年快乐 你也是
Happy New Year, Joey.
乔伊 新年快乐
So that do anything for you?
刚才那个吻如何?
You know what?I'm going to go out on a limb and say, "No divorces in '99."
你们知道吗?我要召告天下 99年我不离婚
But your divorce isn't even final yet.
但你的离婚手续还没办好
Just the one divorce in '99.
99年我只离一次婚 漂亮
You know what? I'm gonna be happy this year.I'm gonna make myself happy.
我今年要过得很快乐 我要让自己快乐
Do you want us to leave the room or?
你要我们回避吗?
Every day, I am going to do one thing I have never done before.
我每天都要做一件没做过的事
That, my friends, is my New Year's resolution.
这就是我的新年新希望
- Ooh. That's a good one. Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
好棒的希望 我是想开大型客机
That's a good one too. Now you only have to find a planeload of people...
这个也很棒 接着你得找一群
...whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
希望自己坠机身亡的人
Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends.
也许你应该立志不取笑朋友
Especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free...on their own plane
尤其是会免费载你去欧洲的人
She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose...than you do of not making fun of us.
她开飞机的机率 比你不取笑我们还高
In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks you can't go the whole year without making fun of us.
50元赌你无法1年不笑我们
You know what? Better yet, a week.I'll take that bet, my friend.
干脆1星期好了 我赌了
And you know what? Paying me the 50 bucks can be...the "new thing you do" that day.
输我那50元 就可以当你的"每日新鲜事"
And it starts right now.
就从现在开始
All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play guitar.
我的新年新希望是学吉他
- Really? How come?
真的?为什么?
You know those special skills I have listed on my résumé?
我的履历表 不是列了一堆特殊专长
I would love it if one of those was true.
我希望有一项是真的
Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
你要我教你吗? 我是个很好的老师
Really? Who have you taught?
真的?你教过谁?
Well, I taught me and I loved me.
我教过我 我很喜欢我
That'd be great. Yeah, thanks, Pheebs.
太好了 谢谢你
Oh, look. Blaire forgot her glasses.She's gonna be needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend.
克莱儿忘了把眼镜带走 她需要这副眼镜来盯住男朋友
Who, from what I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
听说他得把订书机收在收屉里 你们懂我的意思吧
Hey, Rach, maybe your resolution should be to, um, gossip less.
或许你应该让自己别那么八卦
What? I don't gossip.
我哪有八卦
Maybe sometimes I find out things.Or I hear something and I pass that information on.
或许我偶尔会发现一些事 或听到一些事 然后转述出去
You know, kind of like a public service.
当做一种服务
Doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Koppel a gossip?
这并不代表我很八卦 你们会说新闻主播八卦吗?
Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworkers' botched boob jobs...yeah, I would.
如果他说同事隆胸失败的话
Well, they were like this.
她隆成这样耶
- I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.
那就明天见 好
I just asked that girl out.- Nice. - Nice. Yeah.
我约刚才那个女生出去 漂亮
Is that part of your resolution, your "new thing" for today?
这算是你今天的新鲜事吗?
Yes, it is. See?
没错 你们看
"Elizabeth..Hornswoggle"?
伊丽莎白…宏史歪哥?
That's right.Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
对…伊丽莎白宏史歪哥
Hornswoggle.
宏史歪哥
You okay, Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
你还好吗? 这个姓有哪里好笑吗?
No, no, I just think that maybe I've heard it somewhere before.
没有 我只是觉得好像听过
Oh, really? Where?Somewhere funny I'll bet.
是吗?在哪里听过? 一定是个很好笑的地方
- Hey, Pheebs. Guess what? - Hey.
菲比
Uh, I have a date with, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
我要跟一个伊丽莎白… 宏史歪哥约会
Hornswoggle?Oh, this must be killing you.
宏史歪哥?你的嘴一定很痒
- All right, see you later. - See you.
待会见
All right, Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
菲比 我可以上第一课了 好
Okay. Oh, no, no, you don't touch the guitar.
不行 不能碰吉他
No, no. First you learn here, then you learn here.
先练手 再练琴
- Oh. Okay.
好吧
- Okay. Lesson One: Chords.
好 第一课 和弦
Now, um, I don't know the actual names of the chords, um...
我不知道这些和弦的真正名称
But I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them.
不过我照手势帮它们取了名字
So then, this is "Bear Claw."
所以这是熊爪…
Okay, "Turkey Leg"...
火鸡脚…
...and "Old Lady."
和老太太
What an interesting approach to guitar instruction.
真有趣的吉他教学方式
You know, some might find it amusing. I myself find it regular.
有些人可能会觉得好笑 我觉得很普通
Hey, everybody.Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
各位 瑞秋今天很乖 她都没有八卦
I didn't. Even when I found out, um...
没错 即使我发现…
All right, let's just say I found out something about someone...and let's just say...she's gonna keep it.
总之我发现了某人的某件事 但是我不会说出来
Hey, Pheebs. Check this out.
菲比 你看
Ooh. You nailed the Old Lady. Oh!
你搞定老太太了
Hey, listen, I thought I was getting better...so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store...
我觉得我进步了 就在回家的路上去吉他店…
Did you touch any of the guitars while you were there?
你在店里有碰吉他吗?
Did you?
有吗?
No.
没有
Give me your hands.
手给我
Strings.
琴弦 这一手
Pick.
弹片
Do you want to learn to play guitar?- Yes.
你想学吉他吗? 想啊
- Then don't touch one!
那就不要碰吉他
- Hi, Ben. - Auntie Monica.
班 摩妮卡姑姑
Ross is wearing leather pants.
罗斯穿皮裤
Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants?
没有人看见罗斯穿皮裤吗?
Someone comment on the pants.
谁来说句话吧
- I think they're very nice. - I really like them a lot.
很帅气啊 我很喜欢
Not what I had in mind.
我想的不是这个
See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants.
罗斯这种人通常不穿这种裤子
You see, they're very tight.
这种裤子很紧
Maybe there's something in that area?
也许可以评论一下
- I think they look really good. - I like them.
很好看啊
Yeah, where did you get them?
在哪里买的?
See, I needed a new thing for today.
我还没做今天的新鲜事
And there's this leather store I go by that always smells so good.
我一直觉得这家皮衣店很香
And I thought to myself, "Wow. You know, I've never owned a really good-smelling pair of pants before."
于是我心想 我从来没买过一条很香的皮裤
Oh, come on.
拜托啦!
Okay, seriously. What do you think?
说真的 你们觉得怎样?
-You look like a freak. Yeah, awful. -Awful.
好怪 难看死了
Hey. What are you doing? What are you doing?
你在干什么?
- It's my New Year's resolution. - To blind my child?
这是我的新年新希望 把我儿子弄瞎?
No, to take more pictures of all of us together.
不 是多照照我们的相片
I really think it's the best resolution. Everyone can enjoy them.
我觉得这样最好 大家都会喜欢
Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well.
大家也都会喜欢我的演奏
-My God, these pants. I'm burning up.
天哪 这条裤子热死了
Oh, God. She wants to snuggle now? What, is she trying to kill me?It's like a volcano in here.
她现在靠过来是想让我死吗? 这里面跟火山一样
- Are you hot? - No.
你热吗? 不会
Okay, it must just be me then.
那就是我在热
That was just the pants and the couch.
那是裤子跟沙发磨擦的声音
Um, hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
可以借用一下洗手间吗?
- Oh, go ahead. - Thanks.
请便 谢谢
-Hey, my favorite part's coming up.
我最喜欢的部分要来了 好
Oh, my God!
完蛋了
Tiger. Dragon.Iceberg.
老虎 恐龙 冰山
Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
乔瑟夫 你昨晚有练习吗?
- Yes. Yes, I did. - Then do Iceberg.
我有啊 那就把冰山做出来
- G-sharp. - G-sharp?
升G 升G ?
Have you been studying the real names of the chords?
你在偷学和弦名称吗?
Have you?
有没有?
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
What? I didn't touch a guitar.No, but you're questioning my method.
怎样?我又没有碰吉他 但是你质疑我的教学方式
No, I'm not questioning it, Phoebe. I'm saying it's stupid.
我不是质疑 我根本就觉得很蠢
What?
干嘛?
Thank you.
谢谢
You know, none of my other student...thought I was stupid.
其他学生都不觉得我蠢
Your other student was you!
你的其他学生就是你
Yeah, well, you know, maybe you just need to try a little harder.
那又怎样 也许你应该更用功
Maybe I need to try a real teacher.
也许我应该找个正牌老师
Right here. Here. Andy Cooper. He teaches guitar.
这袒 安迪古柏 他在教吉他
And look. Ooh, there's a picture of him with a kid.
这里还有他跟小朋友的合照
Yeah, and the kid's got a guitar!
小朋友拿着吉他
Fine. You go learn from your qualified instructor.
好 你去跟你的专业老师学
But don't come crying to me when everyone is sick and tired...of hearing you play "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown."
等大家听腻"坏蛋李洛布朗" 你可别哭着来找我
Baddest man in the whole damn town
全城最坏的大坏蛋
Oh, fine. Take his side.
好啊 你去帮他啊
I can't wait to be with you.
我好想赶快去找你
I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben.
罗斯把小孩接走我就溜过去
I'll tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple hours.
我会告诉瑞秋 我要洗两个小时衣服
Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname?
洗衣服?那是我的新绰号吗?
You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big...
不是 你明知你的绰号是大鹏
- Hello? - Joey, it's Ross. I need some help.
喂? 乔伊 我是罗斯 我需要帮忙
Uh, Chandler's not here.Well, you can help me.
钱德不在 你可以帮我
- Okay.
好
- Listen.I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.
我在伊丽莎白的浴室里
Nice.
漂亮
No, I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off.
不是 我觉得皮裤很热 就进来脱掉
But they must have shrunk from the sweat or something.Or my legs expanded from the heat.
结果它一定是遇汗缩水 或是我的腿因热膨胀
I can't get them back on, Joey. I can't.
我现在穿不回去了
Oh. That is quite a situation.
这个情况蛮严重的
Uh, do you see any, like, powder?
你有粉之类的东西吗?
Powder. Yeah, yeah, I have powder.
有 我有爽身粉
Good, good. Okay.Sprinkle some on your legs. It'll absorb moisture.Then you can get your pants back on.
很好 把它撒在腿上吸汗 就能把裤子穿回去了
Yeah, hold on.
好 等一下
They're not coming on, man.
裤子还是拉不上来
Um, you see any...? Oh, Vaseline?
你找得到凡士林吗?
I see lotion. I have lotion. Will that work?
我找到乳液 我有乳液 乳液行吗?
- Yeah, sure, throw some of that on there. - Hold on.
行 把它涂在腿上 等下
Ross, you okay?
你还好吧
They're still not coming on, man.And the lotion and the powder have made a paste.
裤子还是拉不上来 而且乳液和爽身粉糊成一团
Really?Uh, what color is it?
是喔?什么颜色?
What difference does that make?
什么颜色有差吗?
Well, if the paste matches the pants,
如果跟裤子的颜色一样
you can make yourself paste pants...and she won't know the difference.
你就糊一条假裤子 她就看不出来了
Joey, do you have a minute?
乔伊 你有空吗?
Dude, what am I...?
我该怎么…
Rachel's here, so good luck, man. Let me know how it works out.
瑞秋来了 祝你好运 让我知道结果
Oh, Joey, I have such a problem.
乔伊 我遇到天大的问题
Oh, well, your timing couldn't be better.I'm putting out fires all over the place.
你来得正好 我正在到处救火
Okay, okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something.
好 乔伊 我得告诉你一件事
What is it? What is it?
什么事?
Oh, my God. It's so huge. But you have to promise me, you cannot tell anyone.
天哪 这件事太大条了 但你得保证不说出去
- No, no, no. I don't want to know. - What?
不要 我不想知道
Yes, yes, yes. You do want to know. This is unbelievable.
你绝对想知道 太不可思议了
I don't care, Rach. Look, I'm tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets...and can't tell anyone.
我不管 我不想再当知道秘密 却不能说的人
You know secrets? What are they?
什么秘密?你知道什么秘密?
And you're not supposed to be gossiping.
你不该八卦的
No, I know, I can't keep this in. So I pick up the phone...
我知道 但这件事我恋不住 我刚才拿起电话…
I'm not listening to you.
我不听
Ross? Um...You've been in there for a long time.
罗斯 你进去很久了
I'm starting to get kind of freaked out.
我开始有点害怕了
All right, I'm coming out.
好 我要出去了
Hey, can you turn the lights off?
你可以把灯关掉吗?
No. Let's just leave the lights on.
不行 灯就让它开着
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
I had a problem.
我出了一点状况
Hey, Pheebs.
菲比
Oh, I can't talk to you. I don't have a fancy ad in the yellow pages.
我不能跟你说话 我没在电话簿上登广告
Look...Pheebs, I just...
菲比 你听我说…
I want to apologize for saying your method was stupid.
我为批评你的教法道歉
And maybe, ask you to be my teacher again?
我也想重新拜你为师
And I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready.
在你说可以之前 我绝对不碰吉他
- You really think I'm ready? - Uh-huh.
我真的可以了?
Wow, cool.
酷毙了
- Was the chord at least right before...? - No.
那个和弦弹对了吗? 不对
Oh my God.
天啊
We heard about your pants. I'm so sorry.
我们听说了 好惨
This year was supposed to be great.
今年应该很美好才对
Well, it's only the second day, and I'm a loser...with stupid leather pants that don't even fit.
才第二天我就成了 穿不合身的皮裤的逊人
You're not a loser.
没这回事 你不逊
Look at me.
你们看我
Hey, look. Look, Ross.Ben drew a picture of you.
你看 班画了你的画像
Huh? You're a cowboy.
你是牛仔喔
Oh.Because of the leather pants?
因为我穿皮裤?
Ben doesn't think you're a loser. He thinks you're a cowboy.I mean, that's something.
班并不觉得你逊 他觉得你是牛仔 很棒吧
It really is something. -Howdy, partner. Hey.
真的很棒 牛仔哥
Maybe I should get another pair.
也许我应该再去买一条
Ooh, you know, they had some...with fringe all down the sides.
他们有一些侧边有流苏的
I'm gonna go kiss Ben good night.
我去跟班说晚安
I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy.
他居然觉得我是牛仔
I would make a good cowboy.
我会是个好牛仔
Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
好 既然没事 我要去洗衣服了
Yeah, me too. You know, if this shirt is dirty. .
我也是 如果这一件脏了的话
Yep
脏了
Okay, I'm gonna go to.
我也要走了
I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
我要去机场 只要等久一点 应该能逮到没人管的飞机
- Good luck, honey. -Bye.
祝你好运 再见
Hey, uh, Joey, remember that big thing I was going to tell you about?
乔伊 记得我要说的那件大事吗?
I'm not gonna tell you. But if you found out on your own...
我不会告诉你 但如果你自己发现
...that would be okay, and then we could talk about it, right?
那就没关系 我们就可以讨论了对吧?
Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So, yeah, that would be okay. Yeah, yeah.
那样就不是秘密 的确没关系
Hey, Joe, would you mind going over into Chandler's bedroom...and getting that book back that he borrowed from me?
乔伊 你去钱德的房问 把我借给他的书拿回来好吗?
Now? You want me to go over there now?Yeah.
现在?你要我现在去? 对
- Do you know something? - Do you know something?
你知道什么吗? 你知道什么吗?
- I might know something. - I might too something too.
我或许知道 我也是
- What's the thing you know?I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
你知道什么? 不行 你先说我才能说
I can't tell what I know. Well, I can't tell what I know.
我不能说 那我也不能说
Okay, fine.
那好吧
You don't know.
你才不知道
How about I go there and walk into Chandler's bedroom and see the thing...that I think I know is actually the thing I think I know.
不如我现在就去钱德的房问 就可以知道我想的确实没错
- You know. - And you know.
你知道 你也知道
Yeah, I know.
对 我知道
Chandler and Monica? Oh, this is unbelievable.
钱德和摩妮卡? 真叫人不敢相信
- How long have you known? - Too long. Oh, my God.
你知道多久了? 太久了
Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long.
天哪 我早就想找人说了
Listen, listen. You can't say anything to anybody. They're so weird about that.
听着 我们不能告诉别人 他们两个好紧张…
Hey, Phoebe. - Hey.
菲比
It's raining. I don't like to fly in the rain so...
在下雨 我不想在下雨天飞
Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain. Ha, ha.
我要去雨中漫步
Oh, yeah, me too.
我也要
That's weird.
怪人
I bet they're doing it.
他们一定有一腿
Oh, good. Okay, look. I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore.
好 我扛不住受不了了
So you win. Okay? Here.
你赢 好吗?拿去
Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship...so you can get back to your home planet.
菲比 开飞机? 不如开太空船回你的星球去
And Ross. Phone call for you today. Tom Jones. He wants his pants back.
罗斯 有你的电话 汤姆琼斯跟你要他的裤子
And Hornswoggle? What, are you dating a character from Fraggle Rock?
宏史歪哥? 你在跟卡通人物约会吗?