Joey gives an interview to a soap opera magazine. 乔伊接见的肥皂剧杂志。
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- Hi. -Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨
So I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle...
我在填《肥皂剧文摘》的 字谜游戏
...and guess who is the clue for three down?
你猜谁是三下的 字谜提示?
Three down. "Days of Our Lives star, blank Tribbiani."
三下 "《我们的日子》的大明星 空格 崔比亚尼"
That's me! I'm blank! Hey.
就是我 我是空格
How cool is. We know three down. I'm touching three down.
太酷了 我们认识三下 我在碰三下
Yeah, you are, baby.
没错 宝贝
Three down knows I'm married.
三下知道我结婚了
- What's three down doing? - Sorry.
- 三下在做什么? - 抱歉
So do they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this?
他们有通知你上了杂志吗?
No. They really liked me there.
不 他们很喜欢我
They wanted to do a profile on me. I said no.
他们想做人物专访 我拒绝了
Why'd you say no?
为什么?
Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them?
还记得我上次接受采访的结果吗?
I said I write a lot of my own lines, then the writers got mad...
我说我自己写台词 编剧抓狂
...and made my character fell down the elevator shaft.
让我的角色摔下电梯间
So who knows what I might say this time?
谁知道这次我会说什么?
If only there was something in your head to control the things you say.
你得控制自己说的 每一句话
Oh, come on, Joey, you'll totally keep it in check this time.
少来了 乔伊 这次你会表现得很好
And plus, you know, the publicity would be really good for your career.
这样会对你的事业有帮助
And you deserve that.
你应得的
And if you do the interview, you could mention...
在专访里你可以提到
...oh, I don't know, gal pal Rachel Green.
我不知道 女性朋友瑞秋葛林
Is that "gal pal" spelled L-O-S-E-R?
"女性朋友"的意思是失败者吗?
Okay, don't listen to him. Please?
好吧 别听他的 拜托
Fine, all right, I'll do it.
好吧 我会做的
But, hey. You guys have to be at the next table...
你们得在场
...so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid.
阻止我说出蠢话
Just then or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?
你只指专访时还是一辈子? 因为我们还得去上班
Come on, we will be there for you the whole time. Just remember:
我们会在场的 但你得记住
Gal pal, Rachel Green.
女性朋友瑞秋葛林
I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest.
我要上《肥皂剧文摘》了
And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle.
不只是上愚蠢的字谜游戏
- Seriously, proud of you. - Yeah.
- 我真的以你为荣 - 是啊
I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
谢谢你抽空接受访问
Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
别客气 我很乐意
You think we're being obvious?
你觉得我们很明显吗?
No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this.
不 我们只是四个脖子有问题 会这样子说话的人
I think it's great that you wanted to meet here.
约在这里见面是个好主意
When most people hear that the magazine's paying for it...
大家听说杂志社会付钱
...they want a big, fancy restaurant.
都会约到高级大餐厅
Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying.
我真的不知道 杂志社会付钱
Wouldn't have mattered.
那不重要
I'm doing this for the fans, not the free food.
我这么做是为了影迷 不是为了白吃
- Can I get you anything? - I'll have a cup of coffee.
- 你们要点些什么? - 咖啡
Yeah, and I'll have all the muffins.
各种松饼通通来一份
- Hey. - Shh. We're not talking.
- 嘿 - 我们不能说话
Oh, finally. Ugh.
终于
So according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives.
根据你的个人资料 以前你做过很多工作
Anything that you're particularly proud of?
有哪个工作 是你觉得很骄仿的?
[SINGING] All you want is a dingle
你只要一个小山谷
What you envy's a shwang
你的嫉妒是不需要的
A thing through which you can tinkle
一个可以让你引以为仿的东西
Or play with, or simply let hang
或是玩弄、挂在身上的东西
Folks, this ever happen to you? You go to the fridge to get a nice glass of milk...
有可能吗? 你想喝杯牛奶
...but these darn cartons are so fringing-flanging hard to open.
但纸盒很难打开
Boy, you said it, Mike. I don't--
天啊 你说的对 麦克
- There's gotta be a better way. - And there is, Kevin.
- 一定有更棒的办法 - 没错 凯文
This is the first time he's ever used this product,
这是他第一次使用它
You're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead.
很简单的 试试看
- This works in any milk carton. - Wow, it is easy.
- 这适用于所有牛奶纸盒 - 很简单
- Now I can have milk every day.
现在我每天都能喝牛奶
So this is it, Victor?
就这样?维多
Yeah, I guess it is. And so...
我猜是吧 所以
...I'm gonna get on this spaceship...
我要搭上这艘太空船
...and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels.
到巴拉根七号星 寻找另类能源
But when I return 200 years from now, you'll be long gone.
但两百年后我再回来 你早已经不在
But I won't have aged at all.
我却一点都不会变老
So you tell your great-great- granddaughter to look me up.
你得要你的曾曾孙女 来找我
Because, Adrian...
因为 艾德莉恩
."baby".
宝贝
...I'm gonna want to meet her.
我想见见她
Okay, here I come. Here I come. See, I'm coming to fix the copier.
我要出现了 我要来修影印机
I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?"
我没办法靠近影印机 心想"我该怎么办?"
So I just watch them have sex. And then I say-- Wait, here's my line:
我看着他们做爱 然后我说...等一下 这是我的台词
You know, that's bad for the paper tray.
你知道吗? 那会把送纸夹弄坏
- Nice work, my friend. - Wait, wait, wait, you see me again.
- 做的好 - 等一下 我的朋友 我又出现了
Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
等一下 那家伙的屁股档到我了
There I am. There I am. There I am.
我出现了 我出现了 我出现了
Well, there are so many things, you know, it's hard to pick just one.
我做过太多工作 要选一个真的很难
- I'm gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything? -Oh yeah,
- 我要去拿咖啡 你们需要什么吗? - 好啊
- I'd actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea. - Double latte, extra foam.
- 我要蓝莓松饼跟甘菊茶 - 双份拿铁 多点泡沬
- And a bagel with only-- - I was just being polite.
- 我要贝果加... - 我只是礼貌性问- 下
Okay. How about when you're not working?
你不工作的时候呢?
What do you do in your spare time?
你有空时都在做什么
Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat...
看看这个小丑 船大...
...he thinks he can take up the whole river.
就以为整条河都是他的
Get out of the way, jackass!
别档路 泥蛋
Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
谁会把自己的船 取名为《海岸防卫队》呢?
That is the Coast Guard.
他们就是海岸防卫队
What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there.
他们在这里做什么? 海岸在那边
- Hi. - Hey, check it out. This is unbelievable.
- 嗨 - 你瞧 这太不可思议了
Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes.
乔伊已经憋气 快四分钟了
Dude, are you trying to kill me?
你想害死我吗?
Well, I see you've had a very productive day.
看来今天你真的很忙
Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
这顶牛仔帽太花了吧?
Come on, it's fun.
来吧 真的很好玩
All right.
好吧
Isn't this a woman's hat?
这不是女人的帽子吗?
Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea.
别说傻话了 快去帮我们泡茶
You know what? We have to turn off the porn.
你知道吗?我们得把A片关掉
I think you're right.
我想你说的对
- All right, ready? -One.
- 好吧 准备好了吗?
- Two, three. -Three.
- 二二 三
That's kind of nice.
那真的很棒
- Yeah, it's kind of a relief. - Yeah.
- 我松了一口气 - 对
- You wanna see if we still have it? - Yeah.
- 你想看我们还能不能看到它吗? - 好吧
- Free porn! We have free porn here! - Yeah.
- 我们有免费的A片 - 好耶
In my spare time, I, uh, read to the blind.
我有空时会念书给盲人听
And I'm also a mento for kids.
我还是孩子们的曼陀珠
- A mento? - You know, a mento. A role model.
- 曼陀珠? - 曼陀珠 我是他们的榜样
- A mento? - Right.
- 曼陀珠? - 对
- Like the candy? - As a matter of fact, I do.
- 吃的曼陀珠? - 事实上没错
Well, um, another thing that our readers always want to know...
读者也想知道...
...is how soap stars stay in such great shape.
肥皂剧明星是怎么维持身材的
Do you have some kind of a fitness regime?
你有健身妙方吗?
Uh, we stars usually just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
明星们会正确地饮食 大量运动
Wow, you realize we've been throwing this ball without dropping it for an hour?
你知道我们已经丢了一小时的球 球都没掉吗?
Are you serious?
真的吗?
I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't want to say anything...
半小时前就发现了 但我没说话...
...because I didn't want to jinx it.
因为我不想破坏它
- Wow, we are pretty good at this. - Yeah.
- 我们真的很厉害 - 对
Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
我们忘了吃午餐
Oh. I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal.
这是我第一次 忘了吃饭
Yeah, I think my pants are a little loose.
我的裤子都松了
What's wrong with you?
你怎么了?
Oh, I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before.
我举哑铃时 觉得胃好痛
And then I, uh, passed out.
后来我昏了过去
I haven't been able to stand up since. Ha, ha. But I don't think it's serious.
我没办法站起来 但我想应该没关系
This sounds like a hernia. You have to-- Go to the doctor.
听起来像是疝气 快去看医生吧
No way.
不行
Look, if I go to the doctor for anything...
如果我去看医生
...it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach.
就应该检查 从我胃突出来的玩意
Why'd I have to start working out again?
我为什么 要恢复健身的习惯呢?
Damn you, 15's.
该死的15磅哑铃
- What is it? - It's a trifle. It's got all of these layers.
- 它是什么? - 蛋糕布丁 它有好几层
First, there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam.
一层手指饼干 然后一层果酱
Then custard, which I made from scratch.
然后是甜冻 我自己做的
Then raspberries, more ladyfingers...
然后是覆盆子 更多手指饼干
...then beef sautéed with peas and onions.
加了豆子跟洋葱的烛牛肉
Then a little bit more custard.
再加一层甜冻
It tastes like feet.
它的味道好像臭脚丫
I like it.
我喜欢
- Are you kidding? - What's not to like? Custard, good.
- 你在开玩笑吗? - 它有什么不好的?甜冻 好吃
Jam, good. Meat, good.
果酱 好吃、肉 好吃
Well, you don't look good, Joe.
你的脸色不太好 乔伊
Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.
冰箱坏了 我得把所有东西吃掉
Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.
冷盘、冰淇淋、莱姆
Hey, what was in that brown jar?
那个棕色罐子里装了什么?
- That's still in there? - Not anymore.
- 它还在? - 现在不在了
Oh, look. There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it.
这一块没有沾到地板
- Stick to your side. - Hey, come on, now.
- 别越界 - 少来了
All right, what are we having?
好吧 我们要吃什么?
Uh, I don't believe in these crazy diets. You know, just everything in moderation.
我不相信疯狂的节食法 只要正常饮食就行了
- Your muffins. - Uh...
你的松饼来了
I'll take those to go.
我要外带
For the kids.
给孩子们吃
Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you.
我知道我想问什么
You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off.
多年前他们安排你的角色死掉
What happened there?
发生了什么事?
Oh, it's so stupid.
很愚蠢
I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldn't have said.
我在一次访问中 说了我不该说的话
But believe me, that is not gonna happen today.
但今天我不会那么做
Understood. So, what did you say back then?
了解 那时你说了什么?
Oh, I said that I--
我说我...
Hey, Joey! How you doing?
嘿 乔伊 你好吗?
You guys, this is Shelly. She's interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest.
她是雪丽 她代表《肥皂剧文摘》访问我
- Hi. - Shelly, these are my friends.
- 嗨 - 雪丽 他们是我的朋友
Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green.
嗨 我是女性朋友瑞秋葛林
Um, and if you want the dirt, I'm the one you come to.
你想知道八卦消息就来找我
This might be Joey's baby, who knows?
这可能是乔伊的孩子 谁知道呢?
I'm just kidding. Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
我只是在开玩笑 我只是女性朋友瑞秋葛林
Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.
她刚刚丢够了 她还没有出世的孩子的脸
- I'm gonna go get this warmed up. - Okay.
- 我得去加点热水 - 好
- Joey, you're doing great. - So far, nothing stupid.
- 乔伊 你表现得很好 - 到目前为止没有说傻话
- Mento? - No, thanks.
- 曼陀珠? - 不 谢谢
So as Joey's friends...
身为乔伊的朋友
...is there anything you guys think our readers ought to know?
有什么事是读者应该知道的吗?
Uh, no, just that he is a great guy.
不 他是个大好人
Yeah, that's gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest.
这话可以让你上 《肥皂剧文摘》才怪呢
Well, I--
我...
I would just like to say that Joey...
我想说乔伊
...truly has enriched the days of our lives.
真的丰富了我们的生活
Um, I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
你应该没想到 这么性感的男人会那么体贴
- Oh, I like that. What's your name? - Phoebe Buffay.
- 我喜欢 你叫什么名字? - 菲比布非
How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
要怎么拼?
Okay, it's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie.
菲比的P、希比的H
O as in Obie. E as in Ebie.
欧比的0、艾比的E
B as in Beebee. And E as in, "'ello there, mate."
比比的B "哈罗 朋友"的E
Great. Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
太棒了 很高兴能认识你们
- Yeah, you too. - Thanks, you guys.
- 对 我也是 - 谢谢
Bye.
再见
So it seems like you have a lot of friends.
你似乎有很多朋友
- Who would you say is your best friend?
谁是你最好的朋友?
How come you have two?
你为什么会有两个?
Well, this one's for you.
这个是送你的
- Get out. - No, I can't.
- 不可能 - 对 不可能
No, no. Listen, I know how much this means to you.
我知道这对你来说意义重大
And I also know this is about more than jewelry.
这不只是首饰而已
It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.
它代表了 你跟我是最好的朋友
Wow. Is this friendship? I think so.
这是友谊吗?我想是的
Check it out. We're bracelet buddies.
你看 我们是手镯兄弟
That's what they'll call us.
他们是那样子叫我们的
- Oh, Joey. I'm sorry. - It's all right. Don't worry about it.
- 乔伊 对不起 - 没关系 别担心
No, but look. Oh, that's gonna leave a stain.
你看 它会留下印子
Rach, hey, it's fine. You're at Joey's.
瑞秋 没关系 你在乔伊家
- Really? - Yeah, look.
- 真的吗? - 对 你看
- Ha. - Yeah.
对
- I've never lived like this before. - I know.
- 我没有过过这种生活 - 我知道
Well, don't waste it. I mean, it's still food. Jeez.
别浪费它 它还是食物 天啊
All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend
我觉得有罪恶成 我想当个好朋友
...and damn it, I am a good friend. So shut up and close your eyes.
该死 我是个好朋友 闭上你的嘴巴跟眼睛
Yeah, uh--
好...
You are a good friend.
你是个好朋友
Of course, the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it.
我今天早上去试镜 但我失败了
But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
那个吻真的很棒 瑞秋是个幸运的女孩
Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths.
请参赛者离开隔离区
And they're off. Oh.
他们出发了
Get your foot off my contestant. Judge.
别档住我的选手 栽判
- Judge rules: No violation.
栽判判决没有犯规
- The duck gets the Nutter Butter. - No. Wait, that's not a Nutter Butter.
- 鸭子踩到奶油了 - 不 等- 下 那不是奶油
- That's an old wonton. - Judge rules: Nutter Butter.
- 那是以前掉的馄饨 - 栽判判决是奶油
- Oh. Tough call. - Yeah.
- 真的很难决定 - 是啊
I had seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.
我在探索频道看过
Wait a minute. I saw that. On the Discovery Channel.
等一下 我看过它 在探索频道上
Yeah, about jellyfish, and how if you--
对 关于水母 如果你...
You peed on yourself?
你尿在自己身上?
- You can't say that. You don't know.
别那么说 你不了解那有多痛
I mean, I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain.
我以为我会痛得昏过去
Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't bend that way.
总之我试过了 但我没办法那样子弯曲身子
So
所以
That's right, I stepped up.
没错 我帮了她一个大忙
She's my friend and she needed help.
她是我的朋友 她需要帮忙
If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
有分要的话 我会尿在你们身上
Uh, nope. No best friend.
不 我没有最好的朋友
No, just a lot of close friends. Yeah.
我只有很多密友
So, uh, now back to the show.
现在言归正传
How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
有那么多男同志支持你 你有什么感觉?
Really? Me?
真的吗?我?
Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
我不认识任何男同志
It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
我真的觉得心好痛
Now, off the record, you're not...
这是我们的私下谈话 你不是...
What? Are you referring to my man's bag?
什么? 你指我的男包包吗?
At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out.
刚开始它看起来不错 但它真的很实用
It's got compartments for all your stuff: your wallet, your keys, your address book.
它有很多放东西的小袋子 你可以放皮夹、钥匙、电话簿
Your makeup.
化妆品
Now, should I climb down your front so we're face to face...
我要从你的正面爬下 让我们面对面
...or should I climb down your back so we're butt to face?
还是从你的背面爬下 屁股对脸?
- I think face is best. - Yeah, face to face.
- 我想面对面比较好 - 对 面对面
-Okay, here I come. - All right.
- 好吧 我来了 - 好吧
Oh, my-- How much do you weigh, Ross?
天啊... 你有多重?罗斯
I'd prefer not to answer that right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.
我不想回答那个问题 假日结束后我胖了不少
You know, when we talked about face to face...
我们说面对面时...
...I don't think we thought it all the way through.
我们没有想清楚
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿
Check it out.
你看
- How much of a man am I?
我很有男子气概吧?
Nice. Manly and also kind of a slut.
太棒了 你是男子汉也是个荡妇
You're turning into a woman.
你变成女人了
No, I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean.
不 你为什么会那么说? 那太伤人了
Now I've upset you? What did I say?
我惹毛你了 我说了什么?
Not what you said, it's just the way you said it.
不是你说的话 是你的语气
Oh, my God! I'm a woman!
天啊 我是个女人
- Great nap. - It really was.
- 我睡得很熟 - 没错
Me? Gay? No. No. No.
我?男同志?不
Uh, but I have a number of close friends who are.
但我有很多密友是男同志
So let's talk about women.
我们来谈谈女人
I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
我相信女性读者 对你的爱情生活很有兴趣
Oh, what I do is, I look a woman up and down and I say:
我会看着女人 跟她说
"Hey. How you doing?"
"嘿 你好吗?"
Oh, please.
拜托
Hey. How you doing?
嘿 你好吗?
Hey. How you doing?
嘿 你好吗?
He has the most amazing Porsche under there.
他有一辆很棒的保时捷
I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping.
我很乐意让你们参观 但我才刚把它停好 它在休息
Hey, would you two girls like to go for a drink?
你们两个 想去喝一杯吗?
- Is Rachel here? I'm her sister. - Oh, my God. Jill.
- 瑞秋在吗?我是她妹妹 - 天啊 吉儿
- Oh, my God. Rachel. - Oh, hi.
- 天啊 瑞秋 - 嗨
- Oh, my God. Introduce us. - Well, this is Chandler.
- 天啊 快帮我们介绍 - 他是钱德
- You know Monica and Ross.
你认识摩妮卡跟罗斯
JILL: Hi. - And that's Phoebe. And that's Joey.
她是菲比、他是乔伊
- Hey, how you doing? - Don't!
- 嘿 你好吗? - 不要
You're a really nice guy...
你是个好人
...and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend.
我喜欢当你的室友跟朋友
I'm just... You know, I just don't feel that way about you.
我只是...你知道的 我对你没有那种感觉
Oh, I see what happened.
我知道发生了什么事
It's because I was trying to repel you. Right?
那是因为 我试着抗拒你 对吧?
Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
相信我 我发动攻势后 你会有不同的成觉
- I don't think so. - Oh, I do.
- 我不那么认为 - 我那么认为
How you doing?
你好吗?
I'm okay.
我很好
What? Oh, dear God.
什么?天啊
Not much to tell there. I'm really shy.
没什么好说的 我真的很害羞
So that's it. I guess that's all I need.
好了 我猜我已经问完了
Thank you so much.
谢谢你
I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
我想应该下一期就会刊出
Oh, great. Great. Thank you.
太棒了 谢谢你
- Bye. -Bye-bye.
- 再见 - 拜拜
- I did it. -Amazing.
- 我办到了 - 太棒了
Oh, wait, I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this:
等一下 我差点忘了 我们得问每个人这个问题
Other than Days of Our Lives, what's your favorite soap opera?
除了《我们的日子》以外 你最喜欢哪出肥皂剧?
Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me? I have a life, you know?
我不看肥皂剧 抱歉 我的生活没那么无聊
Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest...
谢谢你 《肥皂剧文摘》的读者...
...will be happy to learn that.
知道那一点一定会很高兴
Oh. Good enough.
非常好
So close.
只差一点而已
Wow, I can't believe they didn't put in the part...
我不敢相信 他们没登出...
...where you said you didn't watch soap operas.
你说你不看肥皂剧那一段
Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was joking.
我打电话告诉那个女记者 我是在开玩笑
She was pretty nice about it.
她接受了
- You slept with her, didn't you? - A little bit.
- 你跟她上床了 对吧? - 可以那么说
Wow. This picture of you sure is steamy.
你这张照片蛮性感的
Oh, yeah, that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.
那是为了配合 我的男同志影迷的喜好
Did you just wink at me?
你在跟我眨眼睛吗?
Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.
你喜欢那张照片