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老友记/六人行/Friends 第一季 第十七集 S01E17 The One with Two Parts: Part 2 / 双胞胎两部曲2
Rachel switches identities with Monica so she can use her health insurance. Meanwhile, Ursula continues to come between Phoebe and Joey. 瑞秋开关的身份让她可以用她的莫妮卡健康保险。与此同时，厄休拉继续来，菲比和乔之间。
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英汉双语对照剧本
NARRATOR: Previously on Friends:
前情提要
- Excuse me, miss. - It's Phoebe.
一抱歉 一菲比耶
- Will that be all? CHANDLER: They're twins.
一就这些吗？ 一她们是双胞胎
Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.
菲比是菲比，乌苏扛却很辣
- It's for Ursula. - Sure, yeah. Okay, it fits.
一这是送′乌苏拉的 一是喔，很合
Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
马塞尔，把遥控器还罗斯
How did he do this?
他怎么办到的
It's this whole stupid Ursula thing.
就乌苏扛啊
So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible?
他是在跟她约会 但真有这么严重吗？
- You don't know my sister. - Talk to Joey.
一我姐姐你不懂啦 一你要跟乔伊谈闻了
- He's falling in love with her. - You won't lose him.
一他爱上了她了 一你不会失去他的
They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious.
他们连床都没上 这不算什么
Oh. Um, yeah.
May we help you?
有事吗？
Rachel! Rachel!
瑞秋
I'm okay. I'm okay.
没事
RACHEL: Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
Uh, hi, uh, my friend was taking down our Christmas lights...
我们室友要拆圣诞灯
...and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or ankle.
结果跌下阳台 好像伤到脚还是脚踝了
My God, you still have your Christmas lights up?
天啊，到现在你们家 圣诞灯还没拆？
Fill this out and bring it back.
填好后缴回来
- Okay. Here you go. - Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
来吧
MONICA: Okay. Whew.
好
All right.
好了
Name...
名字
...address...
地址
Okay. In case of emergency, call?
紧急时拨打电话
You.
你
Really?
真的？
Yeah.
对
Oh, that is so sweet.
你真好
Oh, gosh. I love you.
我爱你
Okay, insurance?
保险
Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely gonna want some of that.
打勾 我要理赔
You don't have insurance?
你没有任何保险？
Why? How much is this gonna cost?
为什么要有 这要花多少钱啊？
I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.
不知道，但光照X光 就可能要几百块
- What are we gonna do? - There's not much we can do.
一那要怎么办？ 一那就什么也办不了了
Uh, unless I use yours.
不然用你的
No, no, no, no, no.
不行
Well, now, wait a second.
等等
Who did I just put as my "in case of emergency" person?
刚才我紧急电话填谁？
That's insurance fraud.
这是诈领保险金额
Well, all right, then. Forget it. Might as well just go home.
好，巴 那就回家
- Ow, ow, ow, ow! - Okay, okay.
- Okay, come here. I hate this. - Thank you. I love you.
一好吧，过来，讨厌 一谢谢，我爱你
Hi, heh. Um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms.
给我一份新表格
Why?
为什么？
I am really an idiot.
我好笨
You see, I was filling out my friend's form...
我帮我朋友填表格
...and instead of putting her information...
但却填错了
...I put mine.
填成我自己的
You are an idiot.
你真笨
Yep, that's me. Heh. I am that stupid.
没错，我是 我真够笨的
I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
昨晚我梦到自己 跟充子打美式足球
- That's nice. - That's nice.
好甜蜜
No, no. With him.
不，是把他当成球
I'm on this field, and they hike me the baby.
我人在球场上 他们把小孩丢给我
I know I've gotta do something because the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
《坦帕湾队》的防守球员直朝我冲来 我非采取行动不可
Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
《坦帕湾队》很差
Right, but...
是没错，但…
...it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinking they can take us.
我这队只有我和小孩 他们应该可以征服我们
And so I, uh, heh...
所以我就…
I just heave it downfield.
把小孩扔到对方场地
What are you, crazy? That's a baby.
你疯了不成 那是小孩子耶
He should take the sack?
难不成要他被对方撞倒？
Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield.
总之… 突然问我来到对方场地
And I realize that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right?
这下换我要接住小孩了，对吧
Only I know there's no way I'm not gonna get there in time.
但我根本不可能来得及
So I am running and I'm running...
所以我就一直跑
...and that is when I woke up.
这时我却醒来了
See, I am so not ready to be a father.
我真的还没准备好 要当父亲
Hey, you're gonna be fine.
你没问题的
You're one of the most caring, responsible men in North America.
你是整个北美洲最细心 最有责任威的男人
You're gonna make a great dad.
你会是好爸爸
Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
对，罗斯，你和宝宝只需要 有个好的阻档
Oh. Have either of you ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
有人到过彩虹屋吗？ 很贵吗？
Only if you order stuff.
有叫餐的话
I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
我今晚要带′乌苏拉去 今天她生日
- Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday? - When's that?
一那菲比生日怎么办？ 一她什么时候生日？
ROSS: Uh...
...tonight.
今晚啊
Ugh, man, what are the odds of that happening?
怎么这么巧？
You take your time.
你慢慢想
There it is.
对喔
So, what are you gonna do?
你怎么打算？
What can I do? I don't want to screw it up with Ursula.
能怎么办？我不想 搞砸和乌苏拉这边的事
And your friend Phoebe?
那你的朋友菲比就可以吗？
If she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. Wouldn't you guys?
是真的朋友就能谅解啊 你们不就会这样？
Man, if you tried that on my birthday...
老兄，要是我生日 你给我搞这套
...you'd be staring at the business end of a hissy fit.
那你准备看我发讽吧
You add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference.
加一小撮番红花 会起很大作用
Okay, uh...
- Monica? - Yes?
一摩妮卡 一是
Yes, she is.
对，是她
- Hi. This is my friend Rachel. - Hi.
一好 这是我朋友瑞秋
Hi, uh, Rachel, I'm Dr. Mitchell.
瑞秋 我是米契尔大夫
And I'm his friend Dr. Rosen.
我是他朋友罗森大夫
Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?
你这样当大夫 会不会太可爱了点
Excuse me?
抱歉
God, young, young. I meant young, heh.
我是说年轻
Young to be a doctor.
当大夫年轻了点
- Oh, good, Rach. - Thank you.
一说的好，瑞秋 一谢谢
Right.
So he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.
只是扭到 没什么
Uh, you left out the stupid part.
挨事你没说
It's not stupid.
不挨啦
The very cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said yes.
这两位师医生明晚要 跟我们约会，我答应了
I think it's totally insane. I mean, they work for the hospital.
太疯狂了 他们可是在那家医院上班
It's like returning to the scene of the crime.
这简直就像回到 犯罪现场一样
- I say we blow off the dates. - What? Monica, they are cute.
一我们别去约会了 一哈？摩妮卡，他们又师
They are doctors. Cute doctors. Doctors who are cute.
又是医生，师医生 是医生又很师
All right, what have we learned so far?
好，到目前 我们知道什么？
ALL: Surprise!
惊喜
What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap out of me.
你们搞什么啦？ 吓死我了
- Was that the cake? - Yeah.
一那是蛋糕吗？ 一对
I got a lemon shmush.
我买了个柠檬烂糕
Come on. She'll be here any minute.
别这样 她．马上就到了
RACHEL: I hope it's okay.
但愿没砸烂
"Happy Birthday, Peehee."
〝生日快乐，灰椅〞
Maybe we can make a B out of one of those roses.
或许可以用玫瑰 写成B字
Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
就用特制蚤糕工具
- Hey, what's going on? CHANDLER: Oh, we just...
一怎么了？ 一我们只是…
ALL: Surprise!
惊喜
Oh, oh, oh!
This is so great.
好棒喔
Oh, my God.
天啊
This was not at all scary.
一点也不吓人
Hi, everybody. Hi, Betty.
各位，蓓蒂
Betty, hi.
蓓蒂
You found Betty. Oh, my gosh. This is so great.
你们找来蓓蒂 天啊，好棒
Everybody I love is in the same room.
我喜欢的人都聚在一堂
Where's Joey?
乔伊呢？
Did you see Betty?
看到蓓蒂吗？
I tell you, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried-tomato business.
跟你说吧，我不介意投资 生产蕃茄干产业
Five years ago, if somebody'd said to me, "Here's a tomato that looks like a prune"...
五年前要是有人跟我说 我们可以让蕃茄变枣干
...I'd have said, "Get out of my office."
我会说 给我滚出去
Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
爸，我出生前 你有很紧张吗？
I'm not freaking out. I'm just saying...
我没紧张 我只是说…
...if someone had come to me with the idea...
要是有人来跟我说
Dad, Dad, Dad. I'm talking about the whole, uh, baby thing.
爸，我是在说 生小孩的事
Did you, uh, ever get this sort of...
你有过那种
...panicky, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
为人父恐′慌症吗？
No.
没
Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business.
你妈很尽责 我全心冲事业
I wasn't around that much.
我不常在家
Is that what this is about?
你讲半天是要讲这个吗？
No, no, Dad. I was just wondering.
不是啦，爸 我只是在想
There's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together.
还来得及弥补 我可以陪你做些事
You always wanted to go to colonial Williamsburg. How about we do that?
你一直说想去威廉斯堡 就去那好了
Thanks, Dad. Really, heh.
谢了，爸
You know, I just, I just...
我只是
I just needed to know, um...
我只是想弄清楚
...when did you start to feel like a father?
你是何时才觉得 自己已经当爸了
Oh. Well, I guess it must have been the day after you were born.
好像是你出生第二天
We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep...
我和你妈在病房 你妈在睡觉
...and they brought you in and gave you to me.
他们带你进房 让我抱着
You were this ugly little red thing.
你是个长得红红丑丑的东西
And all of a sudden, you grabbed my finger with your whole fist...
突然间，你用手拈了我手指一下
...and you squeezed it...
紧紧抓住
...so tight.
抓得好牢
And that's when I knew.
那时我才醒悟
So you don't want to go to Williamsburg?
那你不想去威廉斯堡吗？
We can go to Williamsburg.
可以啊
Eat your fish.
吃鱼，巴
MONICA: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
瑞秋，师医生来了
RACHEL: Okay, coming.
来了
Hi, come on in. Hey, Michael, Jeffrey.
请进 麦可、杰夫瑞
- Hi. - Hi.
一嗨 一嗨
Uh, here, we brought wine.
我们带了酒来
Look at this. It's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine.
这是波格奈酒庄的名酒
- So how could we resist? - Oh, that's great.
一怎么能不喝 一好棒
- So, Monica, how's the ankle? - It's, uh...
一摩妮卡，脚踝好吗？ 一就…
Why don't you tell them?
你自己讲
After all, it is your ankle.
毕竟脚踝长在你身上
You know, it's feeling a lot better. Thank you.
好多了 谢谢
Listen, why don't you guys sit down, and we'll get you some glasses.
请坐 我们拿杯子
- Okay. - Okay.
一好 一好
- Um... - Stat.
马上
Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are?
干脆把身份说清楚吧
- I mean, I think it'll be fine. - It will not. We'll get in trouble.
一不会有事的 一不可能，会惹祸上身
Monica, would you stop being such a wuss?
摩妮卡，别这么没用好吗？
A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world.
没用？我头脑清楚 有错吗？
- So? - So they still seem normal.
一所以呢？ 一她们还是很正常
That's because they are.
因为她们本来就很正常
You have to admit, when we go out with women we meet at the hospital...
承认吧 每次跟医院病人约会都…
Would you relax? Take a look around.
另q穷紧张 你看看身边
There are no pagan altars.
没有异教徒的圣坛
No piles of bones in the corners.
角落没堆人骨
They're fine. Go like this:
她们没问题 跟我这样做
I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a big baby.
不能那样好吗？ 你有时候真的太天真
- I am not a baby. - Be serious.
一我才不天真 一真的
- You get uptight... - You act like a princess.
一是你穷紧张 一你有公主病
- You know what? You know what? - What? What?
一你知道怎样吗？ 一怎样啊？
Every day you are becoming more and more like your mother.
你越来越像你妈
Excuse me. Hello, here we go.
借过，来了
This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
这地方很棒 你们住多久了
Thanks. I've been here about six years.
谢谢，差不多六年
And Rachel moved in a few months ago.
瑞秋前几个月才搬来的
See, I was supposed to get married...
我本来要嫁人了
...but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
但临到圣坛才甩了人家
- Really? - Yeah.
一真的吗？ 一真的
Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but, heh...
这是有点自和啦 不过…
...hey, that's me.
我就是这样啊
- Why don't you try the hummus? RACHEL: Ahem.
尝尝鹰嘴豆沙拉酱吧
So, Monica, what do you do?
摩妮卡，你是从事什么行业？
Uh, I am a, uh, chef at a restaurant uptown.
我是上流餮厅的大厨
- Oh, good for you. - Yeah, it is.
一好厉害 一没错
Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
因为我可以对人颐指气使 正好是我的嗜好
Well, this hummus is great.
沙拉酱好好吃
God bless the chickpea.
天佑鹰嘴豆
Oh, God.
天啊
I am so spoiled.
我真是被宠坏了
That's it.
没了
And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school...
我刚有说高中时
...I was a cow?
我胖得像猪吗？
I used to wet my bed.
我以前会尿床
I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
我用胸部吸引人
We both do that.
我们都这样
Monica and Rachel's apartment.
摩妮卡和瑞秋住处
Uh... Uh, yeah, just one second. Uh, Rachel, it's your dad.
等等 瑞秋，是你爸
Hi, Dad.
爸
No, no. It's me.
不，是我
Listen, Dad, I can't talk right now. Um...
爸 现在不方便
But there's something, um...
有件事…
There's something that I've been meaning to tell you.
我一直想跟你说
Excuse me.
抱歉
Remember back in freshman year?
记得大一时
Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
比利德端斯金和我 在你们床上做爱
Daddy...
爸
Daddy... Daddy, why? Why would I sleep with Billy Dreskin?
爸，为什么？ 我怎么可能会跟比利德瑞斯金上床
His father tried to put you out of business.
他爸可是你工作上的死对头
You are dead.
你·惨了
Ross, he's got the remote again.
罗斯，他又拿到遥控器了
Good.
好
Maybe he can switch it back.
或许他知道怎么转回来
Maybe not.
或许不会
Hello?
喂
Uh, ueah... Uh...
是
Okay, uh, hold on a second and let me just check and see if she's here.
等等，我看她在不在
It's the woman from the hospital. There's a problem with the form.
医院的护士 她说表格有问题
Oh, God, what do we do?
天啊，怎么办？
I don't know. Just find out what they want.
先问清什么事
Okay. No, you do it.
你来问啦
Hello. This is Monica.
我是摩妮卡
Yeah?
是？
Oh. Okay.
Yes, we'll be right down. Thank you.
我们．马上过去 谢谢
We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
忘了签入院单
- Okay, you're right, this wasn't worth it. - Thank you.
一你说的对，不值得这样 一谢谢
- Okay, let me just change. - Yes.
我去换衣服
- Hey. - Hey.
一好 一好
Trouble?
有麻烦？
Your sister stood me up the other night.
你姊姊前晚 失约没到
Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
人家不支持感觉是不是很差
- Did you try calling her? - I've been trying for two days.
一有打给她看看吗？ 一打了两天
When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk.
餐厅说她在忙
I can't believe she's blowing me off.
没想到她就这样甩我
Hey.
你好
Oh.
Um, you got a minute?
有空吗？
Um, yeah, I'm just working.
有啊，就工作没什么
- So... - Uh-huh?
那…
Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.
送你生日礼物
Oh, wow, you remembered.
你记得喔
Oh. It's a Judy Jetson Thermos.
是儿童厨具组
Right. Like the kind you...
就跟你…
Right.
对
Oh, I got something for you too.
我也有东西给你
How'd you know I was coming?
你怎知我要来？
Um, yeah, um, "twin" thing.
就双胞胎的心电威应
I can't believe you did this.
不敢相信你会这样
I can't believe you...
不敢相信你会…
...did this.
这样
So, what's the deal with, um, you and Joey?
你和乔伊怎么了？
Oh, right.
对了
He is so great. But that's over.
他人很好 但我们结束了
- Does he know? - Who?
一他知情吗？ 一谁？
Joey. You know, um, ahem, he's really nutsy about you.
乔伊，他对你很着迷
He is? Why?
是吗？为什么？
- You got me. - Right.
问隹J我了
Excuse me...
抱歉
...doesn't this come with a side salad?
这不是有附沙扛吗？
So, um, are you gonna call him?
你会打给他吗？
- What, you think he likes me? - No. Joey.
一他有喜欢我吗？ 一不是啦，是乔伊
Oh. No, no. He is so smart. He'll figure it out.
不会，他很聪明 他自己会想通的
Do you want some chicken?
要吃鸡肉吗？
No, no. No food with a face, remember?
不了，不吃有脸的东西 记得吗？
You have not changed.
你都没变
Yeah, you too.
对，你也一样
- Hi. Remember us? - Mm-hm.
记得我们吗？
Um, yeah, you just called about needing a signature on the admissions form?
你之前打来说 要签入院表格
Well, it turns out we need a whole new one.
我们想干脆重填
Because, um, you see...
因为呢…
...I put the wrong name again.
名字又写错了
- Because, um... - You're that stupid.
一因为… 一你很笨
I am. I'm that stupid.
对，我很笨
Yeah, and I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
我用支票支付吧
You know, your insurance will cover that.
这保险会给付，知道吧
Yeah, I know. I'm just not that bright either.
知道 只是我也不聪明
Okay, worst case scenario:
好吧，最差的状况
- Say you never feel like a father. - Uh-huh.
如果说你从没觉醒 自己成了父亲
Say your son never feels connected to you as one.
而你的充子从没觉得你是他父亲
Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
而他的人际关系 因此全受到影响
Do you have a point?
你到底要讲什么？
You know, you'd think I would.
应该有
What's up with the simian?
猴子是怎么了？
It's just a fur ball.
有毛球
Okay, whose turn is it?
该谁了？
Yours. I just got 43 points for "kidney."
你，〝肾脏〞我得43分
No, you got zero points for "idney."
才没，你〝恩脏〞得零分
I had a K. Where's my K?
K字母呢？
You've got to help me. My monkey swallowed a K.
救命啊 猴子吞了一颗K
Get that animal out of here.
猴子给我抱出去
The animal hospital is way across town. He's choking. I don't know what to do.
请谅解，动物医院在城另一边 他噎到了，我不知如何是好
- What's going on? - Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile.
一怎么回事？ 一马塞尔把拼字牌吞下去了
Excuse me. This hospital is for people.
抱歉 这医院是医人的
Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay?
太太，他是人啊 他有名字耶
He watches Jeopardy...
他还会看电视
...he touches himself when nobody's watching.
没人注意时还会自慰
Please, have a heart.
求求你大发慈悲
- I'll take a look at him. - Oh, thank you.
一我来看看吧 一谢谢
- Michael. - Rachel.
一麦可 一瑞秋
- What? - Monica.
一哈？ 一摩妮卡
- Oh. - Hi.
好
Hey.
好
Urs.
乌苏拉
What are you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
你来干嘛 我一直打给你
Listen, um...
这个
Don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
别说这个 我认得这口气，我常用
I'm sorry.
抱歉
I don't get it. What happened?
我不懂 怎么了？
What about everything you said under the bridge?
你在桥下说的话呢
Yeah, um, ahem...
对
You know, just forget about what I said under the bridge.
忘了我在桥下说的事吧
I was talking crazy that night. I was so drunk.
我醉了 讲都是傻话
You don't drink.
你不喝酒的
That's right, I don't.
没错，我不喝
But I was drunk on you.
但我因为你而醉
- Oh, Urs. - But, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
一乌苏拉 一但我们不可能有进展的
Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
为什么？ 是因为我是菲比的朋友
If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
要是这个原因 你会愿意跟她绝交吗？
No.
不行，
No, I couldn't do that.
我办不到
Um, then, yeah, it's because of Phoebe.
那么，就是因为菲比
So you know, it's either her or me.
这个，我跟她只能选一徊
Then, uh... Then I'm sorry.
那，真的抱歉了
You know...
我呢…
...you're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
我很难忘得掉你
I know.
我懂
I don't know whether it's just because we're breaking up or what...
不知道是因为要分手 还是…
...but you have never looked so beautiful.
但你从没这么美过
Really?
真的吗？
- Pheebs? - Yeah.
一菲比？ 一是
He looks so tiny.
好小一只喔
- We just got the message. - Is he all right?
一我们收到消息了 一他没事吧？
Yeah, the doctor got the K out.
医生把牌拿出来了
He also found an M and an O.
他还找到另两颗
We think he was trying to spell out "monkey."
我们猜他是想拼 猴子这个字
The doctor says he'll be fine. He's just sleeping now.
医生说他不会有事 只是睡着了
So you feel like a dad yet?
有当爸的成觉了吗？
No. Why?
没有，为什么？
Hey, come on, you came through. You did what you had to do.
你都撑过来了 做了该做的事
That is very dad.
很有当爸的样子
Oh, look, he's waking up.
他醒了
ROSS: Hey, fella. How you doing?
小朋友，你好吗？
ALL: Ooh.
