Chandler must spend Christmas in Tulsa, which Monica thinks he might have an affair with a former Miss Oklahoma runner-up while he is there. Chandler comes home early to announce that he quit his job. 你必须在塔尔萨,度过圣诞节,莫妮卡认为他可能有外遇与前奥克拉荷马小姐亚军,他是那里的。钱德勒早回家宣布,他辞去工作。
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He sprang to his sleigh To his team gave a whistle 他拉起他的雪橇 他吹起他的口哨 And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle 他们奔驰而去 如同蓟草的细毛 But I heard him exclaim Ere he drove out of sight 但我听他喊出 就在他要消失飞去之前 "Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night. " 〝祝大家圣诞快乐 还有大家有个美好的夜晚〞 - Wow. That was great. - Mm-hm. 哇!真是太棒了! You really wrote that? 真的是你自己创作的吗? Uh-huh. 没错 - Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa. Aw. 再见了,精灵们 我要去土尔沙了 I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas. 我不敢相信圣诞节你竟然会不在这里 You're really not coming back? 你真的不回来吗? Yeah, we have this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. 我们有很多报告都要 在年底的时候归档 - If I don't get it done, I'll be fired. - It's so unfair. - 如果我不去做,我就会被炒鱿鱼 - 真是不公平 - You don't even like your job. - So? Who does? - 你根本就不喜欢你的工作 - 那又如何呢,谁喜欢他们的? - I like my job. - I love my job. - 我喜欢我的 - 我爱我的工作 - I can't wait to go back to work. - I can't get enough dinosaurs. - 我等不及要回去上班了 - 我对恐龙就是玩不厌 I'm sorry I won't be here. 我很抱歉没有办法回来 It's just hard enough not seeing you during the week... 平常没有办法见到你已经够难受了… ...but for Christmas... 但是圣诞节… If this is what you have to do, I understand. 如果这就是你必须要做的事 我会谅解 Thanks. 谢谢 I'll see you New Year's Day. 新年当天见 You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve? 你除夕也不回来吗? - Did I not mention that? - No. - 我没有提过吗? - 没有 And to all a good night. 那大家晚安了! All right, everybody. I know that it is Christmas Eve... 好了大家,我知道今晚是圣诞夜… ...and you'd rather be with your families, but there is no call for writing: 你们都想要跟家人在一起 但是也不可以写… "Screw you, Mr. Bing" on the back of my chair. 〝去你的,宾先生〞 贝占在我的椅子后面 By the way, you can all call me Chandler. 对了,你们叫我钱德就可以了 - Hey. - Hey. Where you been? - 嘿 - 嘿,你跑哪去了? I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three. 我去三楼看那间保险公司的圣诞派对 It was really beautiful. They have all these decorations and this huge tree. 真的是很美,他们有很多装饰品 还有一颗很大的树 And I just thought, to hell with them, we have to work. 然后我就想,去他们的 我们竟然要工作 So I stole their ham. 所以我偷了他们的火腿 You hear that? You may not be with your families... 听到了没? 你们或许没有跟家人在一起… ...but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here. 但是至少这里也可以 闻到过节的火腿味 My kid's in a play right now. 我的小孩现在正在表演话剧 You know what? I know what will cheer you guys up. 你们知道吗?我知道要怎么鼓舞你们 I had a talk with the boys in New York. 我跟纽约那边的人谈过了 I told them about all the hard work you've been doing... 我告诉他们你们全是如何辛勤工作… ...and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order. 所以你们可能都会 得到一些圣诞奖金 "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet. " 〝已经以您的名义把一项捐款…〞〝捐赠给纽约市立芭蕾舞团〞 Well, that's like money in your pocket. 嗯,那其实就像是 进了你们的口袋一样啊? All right, look, you want me to say it? This sucks. 好了,你们一定要逼我说吗? 这实在很烂 Being here sucks. This work sucks. 在这里真是烂,这份工作真是烂! Now it feels like Christmas. 现在就有点像是圣诞节了 I'm sorry. 我很抱歉 Hey, at least you get to go home and be with your families tonight. 至少今晚你们都还可以 回家跟家人在一起 I have to back to an empty hotel room and lay down... 我只能回去一间空荡荡的旅馆房间 然后躺在… ...on a very questionable bedspread. 一张很有卫生问题的床单上 Then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses. 然后明天,你们都可以 在自己家里过节 Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to. 顺便提一下,你们没有一个邀请我去 - You can come to my house. - Ha, ha. No, thanks. - 你可以来我家 - 不用了,谢谢 - It was a nice pep talk. - Oh, thanks. - 真是精彩的精神讲话 - 谢谢 I'm actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker. 我是真的有在想要成为激励演说家 So if you were home right now, what would you be doing? 那如果你现在在家 你会是在做什么呢? Typical Christmassy stuff, you know. Our holidays are pretty traditional. - 般的圣诞节活动,你知道的 我们过节的方式是很传统的 So here's a very special holiday song... 有一首十分特殊的节庆歌曲… ...that I wrote for some very important people to me. 是我为一些对我很重要的人写的: Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap 去店袒坐在圣诞老公公的腿上 Asked him to bring my friends All kinds of crap 要他为我的朋友带一对烂东西 Said all you need Is to write them a song 而你只需要为他们写首歌 They haven't heard it yet So don't try to sing along 他们还没听过 所以不要试着一起唱 No don't sing along 不,不要一起唱 Monica, Monica Have a happy Hanukkah 摩妮卡,摩妮卡 光明节快乐 Saw Santa Claus He said hello to Ross 看到圣诞老公公 他对罗斯打招呼 And please tell Joey Christmas will be snowy 请告诉乔伊 圣诞节会下雪 And Rachel and Chandler 还有瑞秋和钱德 Happy holidays, everybody. 大家圣诞快乐 Okay, Pheebs, look in the kitchen. I'll look in the back closet. 菲比,去检查厨房,我去看衣橱后面 I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here. 我可以节省你们的时间,女士们 我就坐在这里 Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a walk? 钱德,你何不出去散一下步 This doesn't concern you. 这跟你没有关系 We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. 我们在找摩妮卡准备的圣诞礼物 What? That's terrible. - No, no. We do it every year. - 什么?这实在太过分了 - 不不,我们每年都这样做的 Oh, well, that makes it not terrible. 喔,那就样就不过分了 No. Yeah, we never find them. She's always bested us, that wily... 是啊,我们从来没有找到过 她总是高明过我们,那个狡猾又… ...minx. 邪恶的女人 Don't worry. We're gonna search here for an hour... 我们会在这边找一个小时… ...and then we're gonna go to Joey's and search. Okay? 然后再过去乔伊家找,好吗? No, not okay. You can't look for Monica's presents. 不,不好 你们不可以找摩妮卡的礼物 - No, we have to. - No, you don't have to. - 我们- 定要 - 不,你们不需要这样 And you can't, because I live here too. 你们不行,因为我也住在这袒 - Well, then you should look with us. - Why? - 那么你应该帮我们找 - 为什么? Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? 钱德,你难道不烦恼要买什么 圣诞礼物给摩妮卡吗? No, I have a great idea for a present for her. 不担心,我已想好一个 很棒的礼物要给她 Oh, pfft. That's it? A great idea again? 就这样?〝已经想好〞? Chandler, that's not enough. What if she gets you a great present... 钱德,那是不够的 万一她送你的是一个很棒的礼物… ...two medium presents and a bunch of little presents... 两个中等的礼物 还有很多的小礼物… ...and you got her one great present? That's just gonna make her feel bad. 而你只送她一个很棒的礼物? 那会让她很伤心的 Why would you do that to her, Chandler? Why? Why? 你为什么要那样对待她呢? 为什么?为什么? - If I helped, we could find them faster. - That's right. - 如果我帮忙,我们就可以更快找到! - 没错 - Ooh, ooh, we have a live one. - It's a Macy's bag. - 喔…我找到- 个了 ! ! - 这是梅西百货的袋子! Yeah. 好耶 - Oh. - Ooh. Who's it for? 这是要给谁的? "Dear Losers: Do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? 〝亲爱的失败者:你们真的认为 我会将礼物藏在沙发下面吗? P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you. " 附注:钱德,我就知道 她们可以说服你〞 Rach, these are for you. 瑞秋,这些是给你的 Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. 雨刷,但是我根本就没有车子 No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do. 是没有,但是加上这个有 新车味道的芳香剂,你会以为你有 Okay, Pheebs, your turn. 好了,菲比,轮到你了 Ah. Toilet seat covers. 马桶座盖纸! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? 这是不是在我加油的时候 你们去弄来的呢? You guys. 你们两个 And for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth. 还有给罗斯,甜食先生 - You got me a cola drink? - And... a lemon-lime. - 你们送我可乐?? - 还有…柠檬口味! Wow. Well, this... This is too much. 喔,这… 这礼物真是太大了 I feel like I should get you another sweater. 我觉得我应该再送你一件毛衣 And last, but not least... 最后一位… They're ribbed, for your pleasure. 是罗纹保险套,让你得到绝顶满足 Well, hey, Ben. 嘿!班 What if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights? 要不要节庆抗捺来告诉你 光明节的由来呢? Cool. 酉告啊 Come on, Ben. 来吧,班 Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees. 很多年以前,有一群叫做 玛加伯的人… Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas. 呵…圣诞快乐! Santa. - Hey. 圣诞老公公! What are you doing here, Santa? 你在这里做什么呢?圣诞老公公 Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. 喔,我是来看我的老朋友班的 What are you doing here... 你在这里做什么呢?你这只… ...weird turtle-man? 奇怪的,乌龟男? I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. 我是节庆仇徐,你的 半犹太血统朋友 You sent me here to give Ben some presents. 你要我过来送些礼物给班的 Remember? 记得吗? What? 什么? Okay, Ben, why don't you open some more presents? 班,你何不去打开更多的礼物 Santa, the armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen. 圣诞老公公、抗徐跟我要去厨房谈谈 There's a sentence I never thought I'd say. 我说了我以为这辈子 都认为不可能说的话 What are you doing? 你在做什么呢? You called everyone and said you had trouble finding a Santa costume... 你打电话告诉大家 说你找不到圣诞老公公的服装… ...so I borrowed one from a guy at work. 所以我跟公司的同事借了这一套 Thank you, but you gotta leave. 谢谢你,但是你必须离闲 - Why? - Because... - 为什么? - 因为… ...I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah. 我终于让他对光明节有兴趣了 And you're wrecking it. 而你破坏了这一切 But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly. 但是我还没有机会把肚子 像果冻一样摇的晃来见去 I'm sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me. 我很抱歉,钱德 但是这对我真的很重要 Okay, fine. I'll give the suit back. 好的,没关系,我去还这套衣服 Hey, you think you can keep it another night? 嘿,你觉得可以把 这套衣服多留一晚吗? Santa? Really? 圣诞老公公?真的吗? - Yeah, is that okay? - Did your dad ever dress up like Santa? - 是啊,可以吗? - 你爸爸有扮过圣诞老公公吗? - No. - Then it's okay. - 没有 - 那就没问题了! You know what, everybody? 你们知道吗?你们大家 Go home. You should be with your families. 回家去,你们应该跟家人在一起 It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve. 我们要在除夕夜工作就已经够糟了 Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve? 我没有告诉大家除夕夜的事吗? All right, look, go. Go home, okay? Merry Christmas. Go. 好了,听着,回去,回家去,好吗? 圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas. Peace on earth. - 圣诞快乐 - 世界和平 Bye. - Good. Godspeed, good people. - 再见 - 很好,快走,- 群好人 - You're not gonna go? - Nah. I couldn't leave you alone. - 你没有要走吗? - 没有,我不能留你- 个人在这里 Oh. Thanks. 谢谢 Besides, I can't leave until that Christmas party downstairs clears out. 除此之外,我得等到楼下的派对 都结束了我才能走 There are some pissed-off insurance people looking for that ham. 有一些气爆了的保险员 正在找他们的火腿 Ah. - Chandler Bing. - Hi, honey. We're all here. - 钱德宾 - 嗨,亲爱的,我们全部都在这里 We just want to wish you a Merry Christmas. 我们想要祝你圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas. - 圣诞快乐! - 圣诞快乐! Aw, merry Christmas. I miss you guys. 圣诞快乐,我想念你们 So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard? 很难受吗?每个人都在认真工作吗? Uh, well, no, it's just, uh, me and Wendy. 嗯,没有,只有我跟温蒂 Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name. 温蒂?听起来想是女生的名字 It is. Did I not tell you about her? 就是女生,我没有提过她吗? Mm-hm. About the time you told me about New Year's Eve. 应该就在你跟我提起 除夕夜的事的时候 - Where's everybody else? I sent them home. - 大家去哪了? - 我让他们回家了 Oh, you are such a good boss. Is she pretty? 你真是好老板,她漂亮吗? - Uh... Uh... - Answer faster. Answer faster. 快点回答,快点回答 - I don't know. - Answer better. Answer better. - 我不知道 - 回答高明点,回答高明点 I don't think of her that way. I mean, she's a, uh, colleague. 我没有那样想过她 我是说,她是我同事 - What does she do there? - Oh, she's regional vice president. - 她在那边是做什么的? - 她是区域副总 - She's just below me. - She did what? - 她在我下面 - 她什么? Below me. 她的职务在我下面 Oh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma? 等一下,温蒂是那个 奥克拉荷.马小姐选美第二名吗? What? 什么! Well, she didn't win. 嗯,她又没有赢得后冠 All right, well, maybe I should let you... 好了,或许我应该让你… ...and the second-prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work. 跟奥克拉荷.马第二漂亮 的女生回去工作了 Well, second prettiest that year. 那一年是第二漂亮的, Of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably... 以奥克拉荷.马 全部的女生来说,她或许… Chandler, stop talking. 钱德,快闭嘴 Honey, there's really nothing to worry about. 亲爱的,根本没有什么需要担心的 - Okay. - I'm serious. - 好的 - 我是说真的 Okay. 好的 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. - 圣诞快乐 - 圣诞快乐 - Merry Christmas, you guys. Merry Christmas. - 你们大家圣诞快乐 - 圣诞快乐 - The wife says hi. - Ah. Fun conversation? - 我老婆打招呼 - 谈得愉快吗? Ah, well, she's just got this weird idea that, uh... 嗯,她有一种奇怪的想法 认为… ...just because you and I are alone something's gonna happen. 因为我们两个单独在一起 所以有事情会发生 Huh? Really? 真的吗? Hmm. Would that be so terrible? 那样很糟糕吗? This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about... 我或许担心得不对… ...but you're getting ham on my only tie. 但是你把火腿沾到我唯一的颌带了 - Whoa, back off, missy. - Ha, ha. Missy? - 走开,小妞! - 小妞? I don't know. I'm not used to girls making passes at me. 我不知道,我不习惯女孩子 对我采取行动 Wait a minute. Am I sexy in Oklahoma? 等一下,我在奥克拉荷马 算是性成的吗? - You are to me. - No. No. No. - 你对我是的 - 不,不,不! - Look, I'm married. - So? I'm married. - 听着,我已经结婚了 - 那又如何?我也结婚了 I'm happily married. 我的婚姻很幸福 Oh. What's that like? 那是什么样的成觉呢? - Right. So I'm sorry, but... - Seriously? Happily married? - 是的,所以我很抱歉,但是… - 真的?婚姻很幸福? So that phone call before, that was happy? 所以刚才那通电话叫做幸福? Well, look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart. 你知道,长期分开是很不容易的 She's entitled to be a little paranoid. 她是有资格有点神经质的… Or, in this case, right on the money. 而且针对这件事 她精对了 You know, she's amazing and beautiful and smart. 她很好、漂亮又聪明… And if she were here right now, she'd kick your ass. 而且如果她现在在这里 她一定会海扁你一顿的 Look, you're a really nice person, ham stealing and adultery aside. 听着,你是个很好的人 除了会偷火腿跟偷腥之外 But what I have with my wife is pretty great. 但是我跟我老婆的成情很好 So nothing's ever gonna happen between us. 所以我们之问是不可能的 Okay, let me ask you something. 好的,让我问你一件事 If what you and your wife have is so great... 如果你跟你老婆感情很好… ...then why are you spending Christmas with me? 那你怎么会跟我一起过圣诞节呢? You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. 今晚你是这屋子里最漂亮的女人 - Really? - Are you kidding? - 真的吗? - 你不相信吗? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms. 在大部分的屋子里 你都是最漂亮的女人 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? You and I just made out. 这是怎么回事? 我们刚刚亲吻了 - You and I are making out? - Well, not anymore. - 我们在亲吻? - 嗯,已经没有了 - But we don't do that. - I know. I just thought it would be fun. - 但是我们俩从来不会那样的 - 我知道,我只是觉得那可能会很好玩 - How drunk are you? - Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. - 你有多醉呢? - 我醉到让我想要这样做… Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. 但又没有醉到让你觉得 占我便宜会有罪恶感 That's a perfect amount. 真是醉得恰到好处 - You know what's weird? - What? - 你知道什么很奇怪吗? - 什么? - This doesn't feel weird. - I know. - 就是这成觉- 点都不怪 - 我知道 - You're a really good kisser. - Well, I have kissed over four women. - 你真是接吻高手 - 嗯,我吻过超过四个女人 - You wanna get under the covers? - Uh-huh. 你想要到棉被底下吗? Okay. 好 Wow, you are really fast. 哇,你真快 It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. 速度会得到你的赞赏 对我来说是好兆头 - We're gonna see each other naked. - Yep. - 我们将要看到彼此裸体了 - 是的 - You want to do it at the same time? - Count of three? - 你想要- 起看吗? - 数到三? - One. - Two. Three. Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. 我想我可以很肯定的说 我们的友情已经完全被摧毁了 Eh, we weren't that close anyway. 反正我们本来就没有很要好 So are you really gonna go out with that nurse-man? 你真的要跟那个男护士出去吗? Well, uh, you and I are just goofing around. 嗯,反正你跟我只是玩玩而已 I thought, why not just goof around with him? 所以我想,我也可以跟他玩玩 I don't know if you've ever looked up the term "goofing around" in the dictionary. 我不知道你有没有查过字典 〝玩玩“是什么意思 Well, I have. 我有查过… And the technical definition is two friends... 〝玩玩〞的定义是 两个好朋友 ...who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex... 非常在乎对方 在床上很‵陆〞福 ...and just want to spend more time together. 而且想多跟对方相处 But if you have this newfangled dictionary that gets you mad at me... 如果你用的是让你生气的版本 ...then we have to, you know, get you my original dictionary. 那我们应该买我的版本给你 I am so bad at this. 我实在很不会拗 I think you're better than you think you are. 比你想像的要好 - Really? Okay. So if...? - Know when to stop. - 真的?好,那…? - 要见好就收 You know, I sensed that I should stop. 我也觉得够了 - So we're okay? - Yeah. - 我们没事了? - 没事了 - Don't do the dance. - Right. - 不要跳舞 - 好 I can't get married without something old, something new... 我没有什么旧的、什么新的 什么借来的 ...something borrowed, something blue. - Okay, okay. - 什么蓝色的… - 好的,好的 Here's something blue and new. 这是蓝色的,而且是新的 You are so efficient. I love you. 你真是有效率,我爱你 - Let's go. - No, no, wait. - 我们走吧 - 不不,等- 下 We need something old. 我们需要什么旧的东西 Okay. I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12. 好的,我有个保险套 我从十二岁就放在钱包袒了 That'll work. 那可以用! I don't think so. 我可不认为 Okay. Now we just need something borrowed. 好了,现在我们需要一捆借来的东西 - Here, just take this. - That's stealing. - 这个,拿去 - 这是偷窃 We'll bring it back. Just put it under your dress. 我们会归还的,塞到你洋装里 Aw. Okay, one thing at a time. 好了,事情一件一件照步骤来 Listen, um... 听着… ...I've been thinking. 我一直在想 It's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. 我要求把你所有的积蓄花在 我们的婚礼上,是很不公平的事 I mean, you work... You work really hard for that. 我是说,你工二’ 你辛苦工作赚来的 - Well... - Well, you work for that. - 嗯… - 好吧,你工作赚来的 Look, I've thought about it too. And... 听着,我也有想过,而且… ...I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. 我很抱歉 我想我们应该将所有钱花在婚礼上 - You do? - Yeah. I'm putting my foot down. - 你真的觉得吗? - 是的,我确定了… Yeah, look, when I proposed... 听着,当我求婚的时候… ...I told you that I would do anything to make you happy. 我告诉你我会尽一切能力让你快乐 And if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then... 而如果一个完美的婚礼 能够让你快乐,那么… Then that's what we're gonna do. 那就是我们要做的事 You are so sweet. 你真的好贴心 But wait. What about our...? What about the future and stuff? 但是等一下,那我们…? 那我们将来的计划呢? Ah, forget about the future and stuff. So we only have two kids. 管他什么将来的计划 我们只生两个小孩就好了 You know, we'll pick our favorite, and that one will get to go to college. 然后桃选我们喜欢的那一个 送他去念大学就好了 - You've thought about that? - Yeah. - 你有想过我们的将来吗? - 有啊 - How many kids were we gonna have? - Uh, four. A boy, twin girls... - 我们要生几个小孩呢? - 四个,- 个男生,双胞胎女生… ...and another boy. 然后再一个男生 - What else did you think about? - Well, heh... - 你还有想过什么呢? - 嗯… ...stuff like where we'd live, you know. 像是我们要住的地方,你知道的 Like a small place outside the city where our kids could ride their bikes and stuff. 在市中心外面的小房子 我们的孩子可以学习骑脚踏车 You know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar... 我们可以养只猫,颈圈上有个铃铛… ...and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. 然后每次他经过猫味门的时候 我们就可以听到铃铛声 Of course we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old. 我们会在车库上面留一问房问 让乔伊可以在那里养老 You know what? 你知道吗? I don't... I don't want a big, fancy wedding. 我不需要大型豪华的婚礼了 - Sure you do. - No. - 你当然需要 - 不 I want everything that you've just said. 我想要你冈j冈j说的一切 I want a marriage. 我只想要结婚 - You sure? - Mm-hm. 你确定吗? - I love you so much. - I love you. - 我好爱你 - 我爱你 - Ah! Oh, I love it. - Really? You're not gonna return it? - 我太喜欢了! - 真的吗?你不会拿回去退吗? Well, not this second. 嗯,不会马上 Hey, look, you guys. It's snowing. 嘿,你们瞧,下雪了 Oh. - Oh, wow, it's so beautiful. - Wow, it really is. - 哇,真漂亮 - 哇,真的是 Ah. Wendy's a fat-girl name. 温蒂是胖女生的名字 Aren't we done with that? 我们还没有说够吗? Okay, fine. Fine. Let's talk about snow. 好啦,不说了 我们来聊雪 Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa... 你们觉得我老公在影印机上面做爱 的那个土尔沙有在下雪吗? ...where my husband's having sex on a copying machine? 你们觉得我老公在影印机上面做爱 的那个土尔沙有在下雪吗? - Hey. - Oh, my God. - 嘿 - 喔!我的天! Hey. Aw. Hey. Look at that. It's a Christmas miracle. 瞧瞧这,这真是圣诞奇蹟! - What are you doing here? - I wanted to be with you. - 你在这袒做什么呢? - 我想要跟你在- 起 I missed you so much. 我好想你 - Hey, hey, uh, who'd you miss the most? - Monica. - 嘿,你最想念谁呢? - 摩妮卡 Gotcha. 知道了 - I never wanna leave you again. - But I thought if you left, you'd get fired. - 我再也不要离开你了 - 我以为如果你走了会被炒鱿鱼 Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit. 他们没有办法炒我鱿鱼 因为我不干了 - What? - What? You...? You really quit your job? - 什么? - 什么?你?你真的辞职了? Yeah. It was a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. 是的,那是份愚蠢的工作 而我无法忍受离开你 And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do... 我为什么要当那个唯一 必须做他不想要做的事的人? ...what he really wants to do? 我为什么要当那个唯一 必须做他不想要做的事的人? - Well, what do you really wanna do? - I have not thought this through. - 那你真的想做什么呢? - 这件事我还没想清楚 - Oh, my God. - I know. I should've talked to you first. - 喔!我的天! - 我知道,我应该先跟你讨论的 No, I think that this is what you wanna do. I think it's great. 不,我想如果这是你想要的 我认为这很棒! Thanks. 谢谢 Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could ever imagine. 钱德,你能够在这里 是我有过最棒的圣诞礼物了 Aw. - Now give me my real gift. Yeah. - 现在给我真正的礼物 - 好 Thank you. - Here, pass those around. - 谢谢 - 这里,分给大家 Oh, hey. 喔,好 "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet. " 〝一项捐款已经以您的名义 捐赠给纽约市立芭蕾舞团〞 How did you know? 你怎么会知道我要这个呢? What? Are you kidding? I can't return this. 什么?你在开玩笑吗? 我不能退还这个 I thought it was time we started thinking about other people. 该是我们关怀别人的时候了 And besides, this gift still says I love you guys. 除此之外,这份礼物还包含了 〝我爱你们〞 - Mine says, "To Lillian Myers. " - I don't have a job. - 我的上面写〝给莉莉安迈尔〞 - 我可是失业的人耶 Actuary? No. 精算师?不 Bookkeeper? Hmm, no. 簿记员?不 Topless dancer? 上空舞者? Hey, you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. 嗨,你知道我M . J刚才想通什么吗? 你是家里唯一收入来源 You are the head of the household. I don't do anything. I'm a kept man. 你是这个家的户长 我什么都没做,我是被供养的小白脸! You are. 没错 Honey, here's 20 bucks. 亲爱的,这里有二十块 Go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow. 我明天去上班的时候 你去买一些漂亮的东西